Happiness Archives - Page 6 of 13

27 Mar

Deadlines – Friend Or Foe?

“Deadlines are a budget for your time” said Scott H. Young in one of his articles.

Whether you are working in the corporate sector or are a student, you will face deadlines.

These days, there seem to be deadlines galore – a deadline to submit a report, a deadline to submit an assessment, a deadline to complete a project for the kids, a deadline to get in shape for the next tropical vacation, and the list goes on.

The one thing that I have noticed (through personal experience) is that deadlines are not necessarily a bad thing.

Deadlines can make us more productive.

Yes, you heard me right – deadlines can make us more productive. Let me explain to you why I believe in that.

Have you ever been too busy?

If you have, then you would know what it feels like to operate under pressure.

Working toward a deadline can make you operate under more pressure.

However, working toward a deadline can also make you more productive.

Let me share an example with you. I had a coaching client (approximately 4 years ago) who always seemed to struggle with getting things done.

She had impressive formal education, and was in a respectable role (career wise).

This lady had a habit of “putting things off for another day”.

Have you ever felt like that or done that?

In every coaching session that we had, she would come up with a list of things that she wanted to accomplish. However, she never completed those tasks.

My suggestion to her was very simple – give yourself a deadline.

She hesitated and was unsure about it.

I suggested that she implement a deadline for just one task that she had been putting off for weeks, and observe the result that she would get.

After some convincing, she agreed. Surprisingly to her, the task was completed! Why? There was a deadline.

My suggestion to anyone is to give themselves deadlines on anything that they wish to complete.

As the old adage goes – “A dream with a deadline is a goal. Anything else is merely a wish”.

Here are 3 simple suggestions on how to use deadlines:

Give yourself a deadline (even) for smaller tasks – being a corporate speaker/trainer and an anti-bullying campaigner at the same time is very challenging for me. How do I juggle the two roles with my family life, fitness, volunteer work, and hobbies? I give myself a deadline to get the smallest tasks completed. Please do the same thing. If you have to complete a small task, give yourself a deadline. The bottom line is that it will get done, and you can then focus on bigger tasks. Some small tasks could be very important. Give them a deadline, and get them done!
Give yourself a deadline even if you feel that you’re not that busy – what I tend to do is give myself deadlines even if I feel that I am not that busy on a particular day. Why? It will ensure that whatever I am doing at the time will be done efficiently, and I can then look for other important things to do. Deadlines are not only for busy people. Anyone can use deadlines even if they feel that they are not busy. The goal of a deadline is to help you in getting tasks done, regardless of how “not so busy” you may feel.
Give yourself a deadline within a deadline – if you are working on something big, chunk it down, and give yourself a deadline within a deadline. Let me share an example with you. My anti-bullying app (Beat Bullying With Confidence) required a privacy policy update on the Google Play Store. When our app developer asked us to send the privacy policy, I had no idea where to begin. Never had I written the privacy policy for an app. It seemed like a mammoth task. So, I chunked it down into 3 stages, and gave each stage a deadline. The 3 stages had to be completed within 24 hours, and the privacy policy had to be sent to our app developer within 48 hours. Once the 3 stages were completed, I was able to put it all together and send the privacy policy to our app developer. A deadline within a deadline can be a very effective tool in completing tasks that seem big and/or tedious.

It’s amazing how productive you can be when you are stretched for time.

In an article in Harvard Business Review, Dana Rousmaniere said “Deadlines are a done-for-you prioritization tool that tells you a given project is important to focus on since its deadline is earlier. Deadlines can also make it easier to honestly assess your workload”.

Please utilise a deadline to your advantage.

Another point about deadlines is that you should reach out for help if you feel that you need to do so. It is said that two minds are better than one. Get input from trusted and reliable sources who can support you in getting tasks completed.

Quote: “Deadlines refine the mind. They remove variables like exotic materials and processes that take too long. The closer the deadline, the more likely you’ll start thinking way outside the box.” Adam Savage

Please ensure that your deadlines are realistic. False expectations will put unnecessary pressure on you.

I sincerely hope that I have given you a simple insight into how you can productively use deadlines in getting things done.

Influencing you to your excellence,
Ron

27 Feb

Which Leadership Trait Is More Important?

One of the world’s foremost leadership experts, Dr Marshall Goldsmith (who is like a virtual mentor to me) once said “Personal contact matters — and matters greatly”.

When I was an Executive Coach, I came across many CEOs and MDs who were very emphatic on the personal touch.

Regardless of whether you are in a leadership role or not (in a professional capacity), you must have come across situations where you acted as a leader.

Leadership is a very wide and deep area, and it covers many aspects of human behaviour.
For the purpose of this article, let’s focus on how to use empathy and how not to use authority in a leadership role.

If you wish to test your leadership skills, please try being the leader of a group of children. That is why I take my hat off to primary school teachers.

With leadership, comes responsibility – a responsibility to lead by example.

Now, here is where some leaders make the mistake of thinking that they will lead better by using authority as a leadership tool.

Authority can be used and must be used at times eg. when order needs to be restored. However, if an authoritarian approach is used on a daily basis, the subordinates of the leader will start to build resentment. That will not be productive for anyone – the leader, the subordinates, and certainly not the organisation.

Let me give you an example. There is a boxing gym where I have been training for many years.

Every now and then, a very authoritarian guy (who is very experienced), comes to the same boxing gym.

He is often asked by the trainer to help the new comers or the kids in learning the right footwork and punching techniques. Many a time, I have seen him talking down at the people that he is helping, and telling them about how long he has been doing boxing for. Raising his voice is something that he is never ashamed of doing.

Needless to say, people have often complained about his authoritarian behaviour.

A few years ago, my cousin asked me to join him at his mixed martial arts academy.

I now teach basic mixed martial arts to kids at that academy on Monday and Tuesday nights.

When I started teaching these kids, the first question that popped up in my head was “Should I act like an authoritarian leader or an empathic leader?”

The answer to that question was very simple – empathy all the way!

Can you imagine how an 8 year old might feel, coming to their first mixed martial arts class? They would most likely be nervous and self conscious. Imagine if he/she was yelled at and told that they are “too soft” for this sport. What impact would that have on their self image?

The first thing I did was to think about the authoritarian guy at the boxing gym. Although he is not a popular figure at the boxing gym, I am extremely grateful for him.

Why? He taught me what not to do!

Through him, I realised something that I have shared with many CEOs, MDs, and mid-level managers – “Empathy outweighs authority in a leadership capacity”.

My simple suggestion to you when you are acting in a leadership capacity is to embrace empathy, and not abuse authority.

As Dr Marshall Goldsmith said “Personal contact matters — and matters greatly”.

That personal contact is amplified when it comes in the form of empathy.

Let’s break it down and see why empathy is so positively impactful.

Empathy allows you to be more human because you are putting yourself in the shoes of the other person, and seeing things from their perspective.

Empathy has the potential to be reciprocated. Two weekends ago, I delivered a speech at a regional leader’s conference. One of my suggestions was – “When helping your subordinates solve a problem, use empathy. If they disagree with your suggestion, say something along the lines of “I can see where you are coming from.” That will prove to your subordinates that you are putting yourself in their shoes. If they are being unreasonable, ask “Can you see where I am coming from?””

In a leadership capacity, if you show empathy, it is more likely to be given back to you.

Authority will not be reciprocated. In most cases, it does not have the potential to be reciprocated.

That is why abusing authority in a leadership capacity can be very dangerous!

Now, here is my little disclaimer – please use empathy within your limits and the limits of your leadership. Some people can take advantage of your empathic nature. You need to discern when it is wise to stop projecting empathy toward someone.

Try this exercise the next time you are in helping someone solve a problem or you are caught up in conflict resolution:

Ask the other party to fully explain why they want, what they want.
Put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.
Tell the other party where you stand and what you can/cannot do.
Ask them to “Put yourself in my shoes and see where I am coming from”.

Quote: “What empathy really means is being able to understand the needs of others. It means that you’re aware of their feelings and how it impacts their perception. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with how they see things; rather, being empathetic means that you’re willing and able to appreciate what the other person is going through.” Tanveer Naseer

I sincerely hope that I have given you a simple insight on how to use empathy when you are acting in a leadership capacity.

Influencing you to your excellence,
Ron

04 Feb

What Ought to be the Ultimate Reality of this Universe

Many of us have pondered over this question as to what is the ultimate underlying reality of this universe. Mainstream thought is that this universe is a vast ocean of space, time, particles, fields, strings, energy, etc. arranged in a particular fashion. But there are still lot of open questions like, where did all this come from, how far does it extend, when did it all come into existence, how long will it last, and so on. There are theories around all of these questions but no definitive answers which indicates a lack of understanding of the underlying reality. Let’s take a step back and see how we can actually derive the ultimate reality of this universe through straightforward logic and sensibility using a simple step-by-step process:

First point to understand is that something cannot come into existence out of absolute nothingness and then dissolve back into absolute nothingness (absolute nothingness means that there is absolutely nothing i.e. not even empty space). This means that something or things must have always existed and should continue to exist forever. Things might get transformed from one thing into another, but there must always be something or the other existing. This implies that existence cannot be time-bound and must be eternal.
Next point to understand is that it doesn’t make sense for something or things to exist only within certain boundaries with absolute nothingness beyond those boundaries. Absolute nothingness, by definition, means that there is absolutely nothing so what will impose a boundary? A thing will never limit itself unless there is something else imposing a limit. And if there is something else, then that is also a thing that exists and part of the overall existence. This can be extended through infinity, which implies that existence cannot be bounded and must be infinite. This can be applied to both space and time.
The question that arises now is how many things actually exist and what are they like. Let’s first figure out how many types of things might be existing. If there exist more than one type, what is keeping two types of things, say T1 and T2, separate from each other? We need a third type, say T3, to keep T1 and T2 separate. We then need T4 to keep T1 and T3 separate, and T5 to keep T3 and T2 separate, and so on ad infinitum. Another possibility is that T3 separates T1 and T2, T2 separates T1 and T3, and T1 separates T3 and T2. But even this kind of inter-leaving will go on to infinite levels. These are implausible scenarios as, even if they were possible, the complexity would be too enormous to last long. So its not feasible for multiple types of things to co-exist together.
If only one type of thing can exist at any given time, the next question that arises is whether there co-exists only one thing of that type or multiple things of the same type. If there are multiple things of the same type, what keeps them separate from each other? A thing cannot separate two other things of the same type, as how will the boundaries be defined? Moreover, there cannot be absolutely nothing in-between. So its not feasible for multiple things of the same type to co-exist together, and hence only one thing must exist. This one thing must not have any parts either, otherwise the same problem of what separates these parts from each other would come up. For this reason, it has to be a continuous homogeneous whole and cannot be made of parts or particles (which are just tiny parts). We can also safely say that this one thing that exists would not change over time, as change in a thing is caused only by another thing, but there is nothing else that exists to cause a change. Hence, our conclusion so far is that there must be one and only one thing that exists which is infinite, eternal, continuous, homogeneous, part-less and unchanging.
If our above conclusion is correct, the multiplicity, variety and change that we observe in this universe must be just an appearance and not real. This is only possible if the one thing that exists has an innate capability of appearing as many without having to divide itself into parts. Please note that its not as if this one thing is appearing as many to something else. There is nothing else apart from this one thing, so this appearance of many has to be within itself. There is only one such thing we know of that has this capability – consciousness. Consider the individual consciousness that each one of us feels within our respective minds. Even though our consciousness is a single whole and not segmented into parts, we still see a world of many things – people, objects, places, events, etc. – in a dream. Its not as if all these things have somehow physically entered into our head during the dream. They are just an appearance within our consciousness and seem quite vivid and aware of each other, and behave just like we behave in the world when we are awake. So much so that, while we are dreaming, we are absolutely unaware that we are in a dream-world and not in a waking-world. Exactly like our respective dream-worlds are appearances within our individual consciousness, this whole universe is a dream-like appearance within the underlying reality that is none other than consciousness. Since this universal consciousness is infinite and must have infinite capability, the universe appears to be very real with all its vastness and intricate details. Even the perception of space, time, matter, etc. that we have in the waking-world is exactly like we have such perceptions in a dream-world which seem to be quite real while we are in the dream. Its important to note that the universe is not a dream in your or mine or anyone else’s individual consciousness, but its a dream in the universal consciousness. And the body-mind complex that you consider yourself to be is nothing but an appearance in this universal dream just like other objects. This universal consciousness alone appears as individual consciousness within all living beings too.
Here’s another way to see how this one and only thing that exists is actually consciousness. Whenever we see an something appearing as something else, the appearance maintains certain characteristics of the actual thing. E.g. when a rope lying in a semi-dark room appears as a snake, certain characteristics of the rope like the length, thickness, orientation, etc. are maintained in the snake appearance. Such is true with all appearances. This means that even the universe, although appearing as many with all its variety, must be maintaining certain characteristics of the real thing. Since the real thing is the same throughout, any characteristic that appears universally can most probably be attributed to the real thing. Keeping this in mind, when we observe different things in this universe – no matter how small or big – one characteristic we definitely notice is that everything has a field around it which makes it “aware” of other things within its vicinity. These fields include the electro-magnetic field, weak and strong nuclear field, gravitational field, etc. From the smallest of the particles to the largest of the galaxies, all exhibit this characteristic. This is a strong indication that awareness or consciousness belongs to the underlying reality. Moreover, the underlying reality must be consciousness itself and not a thing which is conscious as that would need two types of things – consciousness and the thing which is conscious – but we have already ruled out existence of more than one type of thing.

Another simple reason why the ultimate reality must be consciousness is that if its not consciousness, it would be something dead and inert. And we cannot expect something dead and inert to generate such a sophisticated appearance within itself which even includes conscious living beings.
One more characteristic that is observed universally is that every part and particle of this universe is not just “aware” of other things within its vicinity, but is also “interacting” with them. If the underlying reality would have been just plain consciousness, the universe could have been just a huge cloud of particles that only had awareness of each other without any interaction amongst them. But we notice that things either attract each other or repel each other and, overall, things seem to continuously move towards a more stable, more positive state, as is evident from how the universe has arranged itself over time. The fact that we observe such interaction universally indicates that the reality also has a positivity associated with it, called bliss. This bliss is the driving factor behind all types of interaction amidst all living and non-living things. The term “bliss” will be clearer when we consider that everything we ever do is so that we can feel good. All feelings like happiness, joy, peace, serenity, delight, ecstasy, etc. fall under the category of feeling good and the highest order of feeling good is called bliss, which is what we all are striving for. Its the underlying driving factor behind all our actions.

Based on the above analysis, we can conclude that the ultimate Reality of this universe ought to be One, Infinite, Eternal, Continuous, Homogeneous, Part-less, Unchanging Existence-Consciousness-Bliss in which the whole universe appears and disappears in cycles, just like dreams appear and disappear in us. Moreover, there doesn’t have to be only one universe. There can be any number of universes co-existing simultaneously since they are all just appearances in a reality that is infinite.

We have thus derived the ultimate reality using a purely objective analysis. Now compare it with the previous article, Who Are You Really, in which the exact same reality was derived using a purely subjective analysis. If both objective and subjective analyses point to the exact same reality, there must be some truth to it. Imagine what it would be like when you realize that you are not this severely limited body-mind complex, but you are actually the one and only thing that really exists which is of the nature of infinite, eternal, continuous, unchanging bliss!

(This article was cross-posted from happinessjourney.net/post/156793577905/what-ought-to-be-the-ultimate-reality-of-this)

03 Feb

The Sound of Love

Werts-book cover By Vanessa Werts, author of Lies and Love: Cleansing the Heart to Make room for Radical Love

Love is the most powerful force on earth. It has the ability to heal broken hearts, fractured by life-imposed realities, and the capacity to accept and cover immeasurable shortcomings. Love is the standard that wars against hate; it will always prevail.

We all need love to be healthy – mentally, spiritually, and some might even say, physically. Without love, how can the heart stay motivated, hopeful, and believe that it has purpose?

Not one person’s life is a mistake or a waste. We all have a purpose for being alive – a calling to answer while we’re here – that is rooted and purposed in love. In understanding our individual, unique calling, we must also learn to love. It is love that touches our lives and makes us better. Not material things, status, or money.

Love has a sound. It is the voice of encouragement, promise, protection, and validation. The sound of love, will minister life to the spirit of a newborn baby in neonatal care, fighting against the odds; it will fan the flickering flames of an aloof marriage into a blazing fire again, and will draw two souls together to vow to spend the rest of their lives building and growing as one. A father’s sound of love expressed to his young daughter gives her clear vision to navigate the troubled seas of dating, while providing for his son, an example of the makings of a man. A loving mother impresses upon her young son’s mind, the character of his future wife, and teaches her daughter the ways of a virtuous woman. This same sound of love is available and, is indeed mighty enough to heal the deep wounds of oppression and bias that plague America.

The growing dark cloud of hatred that looms over this great nation, is not who we are. We are better than mean-spirited words being shot like fiery arrows from one person or group to another. We are not the heartless nation we see playing out on television, social media, and in our communities and neighborhoods. Yet sometimes I wonder if basic human kindness is slipping away from us – one hostile word and one bullet at a time. Since the beginning of civilization until now – have we not learned to love?

Considering that love is the heart’s greatest desire, and we all want and need it, to be healthy and whole, a mutual understanding of love is in order, wouldn’t you say? This is how love is defined in the Bible: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Now tell me, what heart wouldn’t dance to this radical sound of love?

Love demonstrated to others according to this mutual understanding, would reset a nation, putting an end to careless words and actions that cause pain, and open the door for healing and restoration to begin. Let us learn to love one another, remembering that we all just want to be accepted, considered, and respected.

Werts, Vanessa Let us purpose in our hearts today, to release the sound of love whenever we open our mouths to speak. Who knows? Your voice might hold the sound that brings healing to a family, a friend, a community, a nation. Be unrelenting in the power of love.

05 Jan

The gift of good health

jeff-williams-2016-holiday The other day someone asked me what my favorite gift was this holiday season. I didn’t hesitate to say, “The gift of good health for both my husband and me!”

A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with Coronary Artery Disease, having blockage in 3 main arteries and his cholesterol was off the graph. Obviously, his physicians wanted him to take meds, which he did for a short period of time.

We played with diets: raw, vegetarian, paleo, we even considered starvation! LOL.. (Well he did, I didn’t. I have a hard time fasting for more than a few hours!) Nothing really worked, nothing was very satisfying.

Then we watched a movie, Cowspiracy. It was a wake up call for both of us on many levels. We began a 100% Plant Based diet. Wait, let me say a 100% Planet Based Lifestyle because it has been more than just a diet. It’s our way of living. No, it wasn’t easy at first. In fact, I’ve mentioned before that it was such a radical change I verged on being depressed. There was much to “relearn”.

Here’s the gift. Last month we both had our blood work done and he had a physical. All of our numbers are perfect! Absolutely perfect! As I continue to work through a few health issues unrelated to that blood work, I am quite confident that this #vegan lifestyle is healing my life.

To his resident in training his doctor said, “Jeff was my worst patient. His cholesterol was one of the worst I’d seen in someone his age. He and his wife went on a vegan diet and now he has the best I’ve seen. He healed himself with a vegan diet!” (And that doctor is NOT a vegan.)

The gift of good health – there’s no better gift to give yourself or your family.

Happy New Year!

P.S. If you are looking to embrace a Planet Based Lifestyle and need support, send me a message through my contact page. I’d be happy to send you my 10 easy tips choosing plants.

02 Jan

Using Affirmations to Discover the Joys in Your Life

Affirmations are simple statements we can use to improve our self-esteem, help us reach a goal, break a bad habit, find love, or even discover joy in our lives. Positive affirmations work hand in hand with our subconscious to make lasting changes for the better.

Many times we may already experience joy, but we don’t know celebrate it enough. Sadly, at other times, we aren’t even aware that it’s present. Positive affirmations can help you rediscover that joy, peace, health, and happiness!

Here are some examples of positive affirmations and how they can improve your life:

1. “I’m worth it!” This positive affirmation tells us that we’re deserving of being happy. If you’re feeling dejected or worthless, this affirmation can work wonders.

⦁ By using this affirmation on a consistent basis and coupling it with an open heart, you’ll see results. You’ll realize that you’re more than deserving of happiness and joy.

2. “I go with the flow and my life is easy and filled with happiness.” Are you feeling stuck in rut or completely stressed out? This is an effective positive affirmation that helps you to release all that tension.

⦁ This affirmation helps you rid your mind of negativity so the joy that’s present can shine through.

3. “I see the beauty in my surroundings and I radiate love and joy.” This positive affirmation will help you to notice all that’s beautiful in this world. It will also teach you how to spread love and joy to those around you.

⦁ You can enjoy everything this world has to offer; all you have to do is give yourself permission to celebrate!

4. “I now choose thoughts that nourish and support me in a loving manner.” This will tell your subconscious that you’re serious and you want to make good, positive changes in your life.

⦁ This affirmation helps you open your mind to constructive thoughts so you can celebrate all the joys that life has to offer you.

5. “I can relax and accept the good that I know I deserve in my life.” This is a positive affirmation that will help with your stress and patience.

⦁ No matter how long it may take, you can be confident that only good things await you.
⦁ Even though you may be completely stressed out, this affirmation will help you to relax and slow down.

6. “I take time regularly to do the things that I love to do; I follow my heart and I am happy.” This positive affirmation celebrates someone very important – you! You take the time to make yourself a priority and you’re an active player in your life!

⦁ To be happy is extremely important and joy will follow you wherever you go when you recite this affirmation frequently.

Joy is essential and our lives should be filled with it. Positive affirmations allow us to refocus our lives to a point where we can be happy again. Practice positive affirmations on a regular basis and celebrate all the joy that this life has to offer!

I hope you enjoyed this article. Have a beautiful week filled with love and light, Barbara

www.BarbaraSavin.com
BarbaraESavin@aol.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MotivateYourLifeWithBarbara/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BarbaraSavin

27 Dec

How To Deal With Exposure To Negativity.

In the previous article (titled Worrying – The Truth About It), we discussed the negativity that we are exposed to on a daily basis.

To be precise, I suggested “Switch off from the media – the Black Eyed Peas said “Wrong information always shown by the media. Negative images is the main criteria.” Regardless of how positive or optimistic you are, your mindset will become what you feed it.”

After receiving feedback from more than a dozen readers about how they resonated with that suggestion, I decided to elaborate on how to productively handle daily exposure to negativity.

In an article on Mindfulness, by Kerry Song, she mentioned:
“British psychologist, Dr. Graham Davey, told the Huffington Post that exposure to negative and violent media could actually have long-lasting psychological effects. In fact, Davey maintains that “viewing negative news means that you’re likely to see your own personal worries as more threatening and severe, and when you do start worrying about them, you’re more likely to find your worry difficult to control and more distressing than it would normally be.””

Sadly, negative news is more popular and it gets more attention.

How do we productively deal with constant exposure to negativity?

Here are 3 suggestions:

Proactively engage yourself with happy stories – there is no shortage of happy stories out there. It’s just that we are more exposed to the negative ones. Let me share an example with you. As a speaker and writer in the Animal Rights movement, I often get contacted by people who are disturbed by the amount of animal cruelty in the world. One lady contacted me via email after watching a video clip about how leather is made. She saw cows being forced to walk for hundreds or kilometres, being beaten, and then being slaughtered without stunning. She was absolutely fuming and cried afterward. My first suggestion to her was to watch a happy story about an animal rescue, which she did. That made her happy and restored some faith in humanity. She did research and found a charity that rescues cows from the leather industry, and was relieved to see many cows living a happy life after being rescued. My second suggestion was to turn that anger into a productive force – do something to help these poor cows. She donated money to that charity that rescues cows from the leather industry, she shared that video clip with her family/friends, and promised to never buy leather products again. Her commitment to me was to watch happy animal rescue stories each day for the next 30 days. She felt more empowered (instead of angered), and used that empowerment to help more animals. Please purposefully engage yourself with happy stories.
2. Focus on what you can control – while you or I might not be able to bring world peace in the next 24 hours, there are many other things that we can do to make society a more liveable place. If you start constantly worrying about the state of affairs between certain nations, or the spike in crime rates in a particular city, or the number of kids dying each day through starvation, your focus will bring more negativity into your mental and emotional states. That will not be productive. Do something that is productive. If you are concerned about world hunger, then maybe you could volunteer at a soup kitchen that feeds the homeless in your city. The point is – you always have the liberty to do something even though it might seem like it is on a small scale. Whenever you are exposed to negativity in the media, remind yourself that there are certain things that are beyond your control, and that you are better off in choosing to focus on things that you can do.

3. Become more self-aware – learn to recognise your emotions as they surface, and what they are triggered by. If you get very angry and say “I hate humans” every time you see a violation of human rights on TV, you know that anger (in this case) was a by-product of your exposure to a violation of human rights. The trigger and the effect are clear. Whenever you are exposed to similar stories in the future, quickly remind yourself that you are about to get very angry. Then, put a strategy in place to overcome that anger. It could be as simple as getting up and going for a short walk, taking a few deep breaths, or looking at a picture of something that will make you smile (a photo of your children, your dog, or your cat). The more self-aware you are, the lesser the impacts of negativity in the media will be on you. Please remember, humans have a negativity bias (this has been proven over and over again). Hence, it is your duty to feed yourself less negativity, and more happy stories.

My call to action for you is:

Every day, make a conscious effort to expose yourself to happy stories.
Share those happy stories with people around you. The world needs more happiness.

Quote: “There are a lot of pros and cons about media; it’s just how you choose to handle it and how you have to be prepared for the negatives as well.” Aubrey Peeples

The choice to deal with constant exposure to negativity is in your hands. You can allow it to sadden you and anger you, or you can choose to focus on the good things that are happening in the world, and use that as a driving force to do more good yourself.

Influencing you towards your excellence,
Ron

19 Dec

Seeking Greater Happiness? This Research Might Surprise You

Over the last few years, there have been some fascinating studies done to determine what makes people happy. If you’re wondering how you could increase your happiness, here are some strategies suggested by the research:

Give to others more often. Research indicates that people who give even a small amount of money, even just $5, are happier than those who spend money only on themselves.

Even more fascinating is that when researchers evaluated how people who buy for themselves feel, it was discovered that purchasing new items had no real effect on one’s happiness.
Maybe the reason you want to go shopping all the time is that, no matter what you buy or how much, it’s not really doing anything for you. Buying things doesn’t actually make you happy.

Have children after you’re married. Another unexpected fact discovered in the research is that having children did actually pump up happiness, at least if you’re married. In terms of gender, a married father’s happiness increased less than a married mother’s.
When you’re younger, go for excitement and adventure. Young people often reported their definition of happiness as “excitement.”
As you age, strive for peacefulness. As individuals age, they indicate that happiness means having a “peaceful” life.
Get some exercise. A Harvard study looked at people in their 50s and found that those who exercised regularly were happier when re-evaluated again at age 80 than those who didn’t exercise.
Maintain a healthy weight. In the same Harvard study, weight was also a factor that could either make or break your level of happiness. Those who are overweight or underweight experience less happiness than those who keep their weight in the average range.
Spend time often with your best friend. Go out and do things with your friends frequently or just hang out together. Having strong social supports will increase your happiness. Go ahead and call them right now for an immediate boost to your mood.
According to the National Institute of Health, those who meditate regularly improve levels of happiness indirectly by increasing character traits that contribute to happiness, such as conscientiousness and empathy.
Experience more and buy less. Another fascinating take away from the research is that you’ll be happier from having more experiences in life than you will from having more material goods.

Research indicates that people feel happier about their memories of events than they do about a recent purchase. After all, how often can you say to yourself ten years after buying something, “Wow, that new sweater really changed my life!” A canoe trip with your friends, on the other hand, is bound to create some great memories!

Engage in activities that make you happy. Regardless of what others tell you about how to spend your time, if you take part in activities of your own choosing, you’ll be happier. Think about your friend who says, “Cleaning my house makes me happy. I really enjoy doing it.” You might have said, “Ugh, are you kidding?” The key is to do what you enjoy.

If you’re curious about acting in a play, take a local acting class. If you’ve always wanted to grab a pair of binoculars and go to the closest national park to go bird-watching, do it.
When you do all the things that spur your interests and satisfy your curiosities, or things that simply make your heart sing, you’ll feel happier.

This newest research regarding what makes people happy might help you in your own quest. Take advantage of the information presented here and increase your happiness. Go ahead, make someone happy: you!

I hope you enjoyed this article. Have a beautiful week filled with love and light, Barbara

www.BarbaraSavin.com

BarbaraESavin@aol.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MotivateYourLifeWithBarbara/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BarbaraSavin

05 Dec

In The Spirit Of Giving, Offer A Peaceful Respite To Those Who Need It Most This Holiday

Guest post by Kim Weiss

inkspirations-recovery The trend this holiday season is all about ‘giving’ – not another ugly Christmas sweater, but something meaningful like a donation in the name of a family member or friend. Here’s a novel idea; give adult coloring books to a worthwhile group and put smiles on many faces! The beautiful Inkspirations series of adult coloring books from HCI has something for everyone – from Gardening and Pets, to Recovery and Christmas Joy – even postcards and greeting cards! To help make this a truly “giving” holiday, donate coloring books to your favorite charity, hospital, homeless or women’s shelter, where some extra moments of peace and encouraged wellness would be welcomed.

Bringing a little peace and joy to someone is what the holidays are all about; something to help quiet the mind and

ease the soul. From HCI, the original publishers of Chicken Soup for the Soul, now comes a line of adult coloring books ready to encourage, inspire, and help worries fade. Art therapy has long proven its effects as an aid in emotional and mental restoration, and it is not news that coloring as active meditation reduces stress and quiets

Example of coloring page.

thoughts. Inkspirations coloring books for adults offer a way to turn off negativity while healing the spirit.

With moving quotes alongside unique and graceful images, Inkspirations include a wide array of themes to help express creativity and enjoy therapy through coloring. To start overcoming heartache, releasing tensions, and building positive energy, readers can visit the new Inkspirations website.

The website is a reader’s portal to a more colorful world, giving a peek at the wide spread of unique pages Inkspirations has to offer.

On coloring lists now:

Inkspirations Create While You Wait

Create beautiful art wherever you are with this portable coloring book. Next time you’re waiting—at the doctor’s office, in the airport, or on the bus—stop stressing and start creating! In today’s busy world, finding peace can be a challenge. Now, with this unique, compact coloring book, you can use those idle moments to foster your creativity and enjoy a sense of calm. Perfectly sized to fit into a purse, pack, or pocket, Create While You Wait will help you color your day brighter wherever you go. A special binding lets you lay the book flat, and the unique horizontal layout is perfect whether you’re left- or right-handed. So grab your colored pencils, crayons, markers or pen—and find your inner Zen. Created in conjunction with AARP, see more at www.aarp.org/coloringbooks.

Inkspirations Christmas Joy

Christmas is a time of magic, and now you can color your season even brighter with more than thirty original, festive designs, plus 12 pages of DIY projects including color-your-own gift tags, postcards, wine tags and more! From highly detailed to fun and free-flowing, each design will deck your heart and home with the holiday spirit. Designs include: trees to make your own; winter wonderlands, polar bears and penguins; charming gingerbread houses, wreaths, and stockings; whimsical scenes of snowmen and ugly holiday sweaters; a Santa sighting or two, plus heartwarming expressions of holiday cheer written in exquisite typography.

Inkspirations for Dog Lovers

Dogs are our loyal, playful, energetic, goofy, and brave companions who color our lives with so much joy―now you can bring them to life on every page with this captivating compendium that celebrates the glory of canines throughout the seasons. From Boxers, Bulldogs, and Beagles, to Pomeranians, Poodles, and Pugs, to Shepherds, Shih Tzus, and Siberian Huskies, this eclectic mix of original artwork showcases the many ways in which dogs warm our hearts no matter the season. Whether it’s a spirited puppy romping through the first spring tulips, two Golden Retrievers sprinting against fiery autumn leaves, or a curious Lab leaving fresh paw prints in the winter snow, our furry friends color our world brighter every day. Inkspirations for Dog Lovers is a fitting tribute to the canine kingdom.

Inkspirations Fruit of the Spirit

In a world that’s not always black and white, it’s often challenging to put the fruit of the Spirit into practice, but this captivating coloring book offers an enjoyable way to quiet the chatter, tap into your creativity, and spend some reflective time with God. Stunning original art is paired with powerful Scriptures that eloquently embody the fruit of the Spirit, inviting you to immerse yourself in the meaning of the messages and cultivate them in everyday life. This is a perfect way to relax and unwind as you create beautiful works of art while rejoicing in the blessings of the Holy Spirit. Celebrate your faith in full color!

There’s even Inkspirations Greeting and Post Cards to personalize and send to someone or give as a gift.

Also see www.Inkspirations.com/shop for:

Inkspirations in the Garden
Inkspirations Animal Kingdom
Inkspirations for a Happy Heart
Inkspirations for Cat Lovers
Inkspirations for Women
Inkspirations for Recovery

For more information, please contact Kim Weiss at (800) 851-9100 ex. 9212, or kimw@hcibooks.com

05 Dec

Fill Your Life With Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing. Many experts say that happiness comes from within. This may be true, but there are also specific experiences that make us happy.

Maybe having a great day at the park with your kids filled you with happiness. Or perhaps that promotion you’d been working for finally came to pass. Bet you felt happy then! However, you probably also know someone who seems happy all the time, even when things aren’t going well in their life.

So how can you have more of this elusive thing that comes both from within and from without? Luckily, there are specific things we can do to bring more happiness into our lives. We can also choose to remove things from our lives that may prevent happiness.

Try these ideas to simplify your life and focus more on doing what brings you real happiness:

Unplug from email. Everyone loves to get email, as long as it isn’t spam. But the enjoyment is only temporary. Think about the amount of time you spend on email over the course of a week. Is all that time you’re spending making you happy?

Do what you can to eliminate the 95% of the email that means the least to you, and limit this communication tool to those people you care about the most. Just knowing that you don’t have email piling-up 24/7 provides some mental relief which will help make way for happiness.

Ditch all the stuff. Go through your belongings one by one and purge the stuff that you don’t need or love. All the extra stuff is just getting in your way and tying up your resources. Sell the stuff, pitch it, donate it, or give it away to friends.
Cancel cable television. Cable TV is practically a given in our country. But the time it takes away from the average person’s life is staggering. And no one is happier from watching television. It merely serves as a distraction from the real issues, both positive and negative, in your life.

Try limiting your viewing to 2-3 hours a week. This will free up plenty of time to do other things you love or work toward goals that are important to you. Reaching those goals will, in all likelihood, bring you more happiness than excessive TV viewing!

Getting rid of these things might not directly increase your happiness, but it’ll allow you some time and space to do other things that will increase your happiness.

Now that you’re done with the big steps, what’s next? Take some time to consider these areas of your life:

Spend time on your relationships. How is your relationship with your spouse or partner? Is there something that could be improved upon? Making this relationship as positive as possible is crucial to your happiness.
Evaluate your social network. Are your friendships and social activities supporting your happiness? In what ways do they make you happy? How could you increase your positive feelings in this area?
Assess your health. Are you as healthy as you could be? Are you happy with your body? What changes could you make to your routine to bring about the results you desire?
Be honest with yourself about your career, finances, and hobbies. Look at each of these areas and determine if you would be happier with some changes. If so, make a plan with some easy action steps to get you started on a path that brings you more joy.

Now that you’ve gotten rid of the dead weight and changed the things that aren’t as good as they could be you have room to add in activities that support your happiness. Don’t be in a big hurry to take up all the new space; enjoy the peace and quiet.

If you have an activity you’d really love to add to your life, now is the time to do it. Over time, continuing to add new things that bring joy will enhance your overall happiness. Your life will be forever changed.

Having a life filled with happiness is really quite simple. Just get rid of all the objects and activities that aren’t adding to your joy. At this point, you’ll have the time, space, and money available to add more satisfying features to your life.

Try implementing just one or two items from this plan today. Before you know it, your level of happiness will be higher than ever.

Hope you enjoyed this article and have a beautiful week filled with love and light, Barbara

www.BarbaraSavin.com

BarbaraESavin@aol.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MotivateYourLifeWithBarbara/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BarbaraSavin

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