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10 Nov

Post Election Traumatic Stress Disorder

PETSD – I’ts real!

By Teri Williams

ballotsOver the last 90 days we, as a country, have experienced more election stress than I have ever witnessed.  Personally, I have heard close friends and family members resort to vile language and physical intimidation tactics to get their point across. It has triggered a gamut of emotional responses from my own past traumas and includes the awareness of the traumatic experiences of my ancestors.


Now that the election is over, we face a new kind of stress – Post Election Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Wherever you sit along the party lines you have felt the uneasiness of this unprecedented election.

What is stress?  Stress is change and because everything is always changing and moving, we feel stress on a regular basis.  Simply put stress is our response, physically, spiritually and emotionally, to certain changes that happen in day to day life.  Sometimes it’s good stress and sometimes it’s bad stress.  When those changes are extreme and prolonged, fearful and painful, it can be deadly.

For many of us this campaign seemed to create feelings of anger, deep seated anger, confusion, divisiveness, fear, and anxiety.  It doesn’t’ stop there.  Many have experienced physical symptoms, as well: restlessness, insomnia, that literal “knot” in your stomach, even headaches.

When working properly, stress helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

What can you do now that the election is over if you are experiencing any symptoms of PETSD?


 The best way to manage stress is to avoid it. Since that is not always an option there are a wide range of tools available to help manage it, to take control of it, including: psychotherapy, drugs, meditation, and exercise.

When help isn’t immediate, here are 7 basic Stress relievers that you can include in your life now:

  1. Lean into it – Take one small step, then another. Each baby step leads to successfully reducing stress.
  2. Meditation/Mindfulness – begin a practice, even if only for a few minutes at a time.  Simply start with a few deep breaths whenever you are feeling anxious or out of sorts.  Think of something or someone that brings you joy.
  3. Exercise – walk, jog, do yoga, hit the gym, dance – whatever it is that causes your body to move. Studies have shown that 30 minutes of walking a day can not only reduce stress levels, it can help lower high blood pressure, weight loss and more.
  4. Healthy foods – feed your body, mind and soul the foods that support your overall well-being. Pay attention to when something you eat isn’t sustaining you.
  5. Learn something new – Unsure of what’s happening around you, how is it affecting you? Get a mentor, develop your intuition, take a class, and act.
  6. Give back – We all want the same basic things in life.  Be a leader by helping someone else through change.  You might be surprised at how it changes your own life.
  7. Soul Retrieval – Soul Retrieval is a shamanic spiritual practice that fosters healing of soul loss.  Soul loss can occur whenever we experience trauma.

These techniques, and many others, can easily be incorporated into your life right NOW.  When practiced on a regular basis, they can seriously reduce feelings of PTESD or any stressors.

For more information on meditation and healthy eating, or to schedule a soul session visit:  SoulcialLiving.com.

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27 Oct

What Do You Refuse to Accept?

As an anti-bullying campaigner, I often speak to kids (and adults alike), who tell me about the challenges they face when they are getting bullied.

This article is not about bullying. Instead, let’s focus on something simple that is available to humans – the ability to choose.

We can either choose to accept something or refuse something.

Let me share a story with you. About four months ago, I received an email from a lady whose daughter was getting bullied at school. This child was 11 years young at the time.

Without going too much into detail about what the child was going through at school (due to respect for her privacy), I can share with you some of the things that worked for her in her quest to overcome bullying.
One of the things that I suggested to her was what I called “The Morning Mirror Work”.

My suggestion to her was to look in the mirror every morning and repeat – “I refuse to accept what the bullies say about me. I refuse to accept what they think about me. I refuse to accept their negativity. Instead, I choose to own my uniqueness. I choose to see the talents and abilities in me. I choose to give myself more love/positivity/care”.

Now, some people might think that simply saying these words won’t change her circumstances.

Yes, I agree with that. However, by simply saying these words, it will change the way that she thinks (which will change the way she feels. And then, change the way she acts).

The reason for sharing this story with you was to illustrate the realisation of the liberty that we have when it comes to choosing what we accept and what we refuse.

When I was delivering coaching sessions for staff in the corporate sector, I came across a young woman who had chosen to accept some of the belittling comments that certain people around them were making to her.

She had excelled academically, and somehow could not replicate that excellence in the workplace.

Her family continued to tell her that she was in the wrong vocation. They felt that she would be better suited to another industry, instead of being a white collar professional in the corporate sector.

Neither of her parents were in the corporate sector, and wished that she did something that would serve society better. Her dad wanted her to be a nurse, and her mum wanted her to be a teacher.

Every time she would tell her parents about the challenges in meeting her professional goals in the corporate sector, they would reply with comments along the lines of “See, we told you that you were not made for this job.”

She loved what she did, and wanted to excel in her current role.

When we broke it down, it was clear that she had been carrying what her family was projecting onto her.

What did we do? We worked out a way to emotionally and mentally release her from owning what her parents were projecting onto her.

I asked her to make a comprehensive list of why she wants to stay in her current role.

Followed by, another comprehensive list of why she must excel in her current role.

Finally, I asked her to make this her daily mantra – “I refuse to accept that I will not excel in this role. I refuse to accept the negativity that others project upon me. I choose to achieve my goals in this role. I am worthy of being here. I make a positive impact on this organisation and its stakeholders. I am by far the best fit for this role. No one can fill this role better than me. No one!”

I am currently reading a book that was published in 1959. It is called The Magic Of Thinking Big, by Dr David J. Schwartz.

In that book, the author talks about a car salesman who would make cold calls to prospects for two hours daily.

His phone calls were always productive on Mondays because they had a sales meeting every Monday morning.

In that meeting, the sales manager would give his subordinates a pep talk and pump them up.

For the remainder of the week, his cold calls were not as productive.

He then decided to go inside a car every morning and give himself a pep talk in which he would say “I’m a good car salesman and I’m going to be the best. I give good deals. The people that I am phoning need good cars and I will give it to them”.

His productivity increased.

In an article titled “The Choice Is Yours”, the late Dr Susan Jeffers said “When we focus on what’s wrong, when we let our fear of it take away our power, we lose any chance of making a change for the better.”

My call to action for you is this – Every day, make a mental list of:

  • Whom I will listen to, and whom I won’t.
  • What I will say to myself, and what I won’t.
  • What I will do today, and what I won’t.


Quote: “There is no-one else in the world who can do what you do the way you do it. It’s time to tell the world why that matters.” Mike Lipkin

The choice to refuse to accept, or agree to accept the words (and meanings attached to those words) that go into your ears is all yours. I sincerely hope that you choose them sagely.

Inspiring you towards your excellence,

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05 Oct



By Jesse Kalsi

“Numbers are alive and are represented by planetary energy. They have a direct impact on our success, health, happiness and prosperity.”


There are several different kinds of numerology; each has its particular strengths. However, even the best system is worthless without clear and consistent interpretation relative to the issues at hand. With clarity, insight, and compassion Jesse has consulted with individuals regarding their personal and business lives.


I use the term “AstroNumerology” because I associate numbers with planets, which are astronomical bodies. AstroNumerology is not about adding numbers up; it is about looking at each individual number, since each represents a particular planet, and considering the totality of the number’s own “planetary system.” Each planet is further associated with different precious & semi-precious gems, colors, and the basic relationships of planets within the Solar System.

Adding a certain number to improve a vibration for a home or business (“patching”)* is like adding the energy of another planet to a home or business. Most homes or businesses are patched very specifically, based on the type of business or the date(s) of birth and names(s) of the person(s) living in the residence. In the Vedic tradition, numbers are also related to the four elements, which correspond to the cardinal points. Since I grew up in India, I was surrounded by Vedic traditions, including Vedic numerology. However, I use the following correspondences between numbers and planets:

  1. The Sun
  2. The Moon
  3. Jupiter
  4. Uranus
  5. Mercury
  6. Venus
  7. Neptune
  8. Saturn
  9. Mars

Many traditional Vedic numerologists just add numbers up until they achieve a single-digit result and work with the characteristics only of that number. A home address of 2733 would thus be 2+7+3+3 or 15, then 1+5, or 6. The Vedic numerologist would then consult on the characteristics of the number 6 with the client. However, AstroNumerology takes all the planetary energies present in an address into account. Using the same home address, we see that 2733 has the Moon, followed by Neptune, followed by two Jupiter’s. These planets move about each other in a Venus vibration. All five of these planets (remember, two Jupiter’s!) must be considered.

Let’s look at a well-known address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. Many traditional Vedic numerologist would add this up to a 7 (1+6+0+0) and consult with the client about the number 7 alone. In AstroNumerology, the number 1600 represents the Sun and Venus moving about each other in a Neptune vibration. The two zeroes amplify, for better or for worse, the energies represented by all three planets. The Sun and Venus together on a home address have a discordant energy. This combination also brings in confusion, deception, and miscommunication. One must be careful while close to a fire, whether in a fireplace or the kitchen, because accidents could easily happen near the flames.

If 1600 were a business address, it could be extremely profitable, depending on the kind of business. Food, music, and technology are three business’ which could flourish in such a number. Unfortunately, diplomacy and policy are not enterprises that flourish in this vibration, as many United States Presidents have discovered to their dismay. The number 1600 is also destructive of personal reputations and personal growth.


The Power Of Home Numbers

“Our old house was smaller, but much happier than this one. My husband’s job was more fulfilling and our children were joyful. We moved to this house, and…what happened?”

This question and others have been posed to Jesse Kalsi over the past two decades. His experiences in helping people improve the relationships under their roof are outlined in The Power of Home Numbers.

The Power of Home Numbers is a unique presentation of how your date of birth, home address, and name work (or don’t) in your favor. Moving to a “better” house can sometimes backfire in unexpected ways.

A favorable residential address can bring family peace, harmonious relationships, and long-lasting partnerships with good neighbors. An unfavorable residential address can have multiple negative effects: health consequences, financial stress, family disruption….

Drawing on Eastern and Western numerological traditions, Mr. Kalsi explains the energies of the numbers 1 through 9, discusses the significance of 0, and presents numbers as they appear in residential addresses. Each number signifies a specific planet, e.g., 6 represents Venus; thus, an address including a 6 involves the relationships of the resident(s) with Venus. This system, “AstroNumerology,” is used for business success by professional athletes, businesspeople, and celebrities in the media world.

The Power of Home Numbers analyzes combinations of birthdates and personal names, residential addresses, and their planetary energy so that the reader becomes aware of their inter-connection. Where an address is unfavorably aspected, Mr. Kalsi explains how he has used Number Patching™ to elevate the resonance of the address.

All analyses preserve the privacy of involved individuals; the only true names are in the chapters involving world affairs.

To understand why things are perhaps not working as well in your current home as they did in a previous dwelling, look to The Power of Home Numbers for enlightenment.

Business Naming

In addition to the home numbers being in tune with the occupants (the subject of my first book), it is extremely important that the business name vibrations be in sync with the owner’s name and the business address, based on the owner’s personal energy. In my experience, I have realized that these two vibrations – name and home – must vibrate positively for success and prosperity. Precious gems like blue sapphire, ruby, diamond, yellow sapphire, cat’s eye, pearl, amethyst, red coral, and emerald can also be used to bring good luck and more opportunities based on the owner’s personal energy.

Besides home numbers, name numbers, and the use of gems, bank account numbers to draw the energy of wealth, telephone numbers to bring positive information, and car registration numbers are some other examples that should be considered very carefully. Numbers correspond with colors, too: by knowing one’s basic numerology, the right colors can be used to enhance the well-being and draw the right spiritual energy.

It is also extremely important that the energy of homes be cleared on a regular basis. Many techniques, like burning sage, repainting the interior, removing old drapes, and dowsing, help in keeping the numbers vibrating positively.


Business Name Changes

The success of a business is greatly dependent on the business’s name with the right numerological vibration and a positive business address. Different kinds of businesses have different kinds of energy; for example, a food business works well with the Moon (#2) and Neptune (#7), real estate with Saturn (#8), and communications and the media with Mercury (#5). It is also extremely important that the business be born at an auspicious astrological time.

Numbers play a very important part in the buying and selling of real estate. Having been in the real estate business myself for 15 years, I have realized that certain numerologies always pull money while other numbers constantly drain cash and bring health challenges and other personal problems.

The name “Microsoft” has the energy of Jupiter, the largest planet, the energy of wealth and expansion; an excellent name that has brought Microsoft financial success and a huge global presence. The address (One Microsoft Way) and Bill Gates’ date of birth (October 28, 1955) work to the great advantage of Microsoft. There couldn’t be a better combination than the #1 and #4 coming together here: #4 and #1 act like a mirror image of each other. The Sun + Uranus are magical.

Apple, at 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, CA, is represented by the mighty Sun (the #1 in the street address) and by Neptune (#7 represented in the name “Apple”), a very mysterious kind of planetary energy. The Sun and Neptune flow in harmony; they’re very compatible energies, and this is one of the many reasons Apple has become a global company. For additional Sun influence, one need only look to Steve Jobs’ date of birth-February 24, 1955-and see that it’s an additional Sun-influenced day. Two Suns working together bring the success Apple has experienced, in harmony with its name.


The Importance of Jersey Numbers in Sports

Over the years, I’ve observed that jersey numbers vibrate very powerfully for the players who wear them. These numbers need to be in sync with the players’ names and dates of birth for the player to maximize his potential for success.

In India, where cricket is a huge interest and players also wear player numbers, numerologists are consulted before a player is assigned a number. This is because the number must vibrate with the player’s personal energies. Even in individual sports (for example, tennis or golf), an athlete’s date of birth and publicly known name will vibrate either to help or hinder the athlete.

In June 2005, NFL running back Clinton Portis agreed to pay $18,000 to former Washington Redskins teammate Ifeanyi Ohalete to avoid a trial between the two players. When Portis had been traded to the Redskins by the Denver Broncos in 2004, he wanted jersey number 26, which he had worn for two seasons at Denver. However, Ohalete was already wearing 26 for the Redskins. After discussions, the two players agreed that Ohalete would give Portis the number 26 in exchange for $40,000 and would wear number 30 instead. Clearly, jersey numbers mean a lot to their wearers!


About the Author

Jesse Kalsi is a world-renowned numerologist. He specializes in residential, business, and sports numerology and provides valuable insight on the power of numbers and how they affect our lives. In his book, The Power of Home Numbers, he combines his Eastern upbringing with his Western experience to bring awareness and understanding of this phenomenon.

Over the past 20+ years, Jesse has consulted thousands of people and affected their lives positively. His clients include prominent business people and extremely successful communication and entertainment companies. Jesse Kalsi has appeared on many radio and television shows in the U.S., and his unique perspective on Numerology has amazed his audience. He lives in Northern California with his family.

More information is available at http://www.jessekalsi.com.

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30 Sep

Improve your self-esteem with spirituality and prayer

By Kay Christy

Self-esteem is subjective.  We each determine for ourselves our self-worth.  This is the good news and the bad news.  Since this is a personal judgment based on our own assessment, we can change it at any time. Because it is our own assessment, we also create a groove of thought that is both positive and negative, which is similar to how a vinyl record plays with a needle in the groove.


This personal groove of thought is where I found myself wanting relief and change.  I desperately wanted to create something that would lay a new pathway in my brain and change the record that played endlessly in the back of my head because of addiction. I was constantly saying to myself that I was not good enough, too large and not right.  At my core, I was not loveable and I felt trapped by my negativity. These negative thoughts played over and over on repeat like how I used to play the Moody Blues song, “Nights in White Satin” on my 1970s record player.


There are many writers and inspirational speakers who talk about creative visualization. How using affirmations and positive thinking are intended to improve self-esteem, self-worth and self-perception.  I researched, read and practiced.  I referenced the writings of Louise Hay, Norman Vincent Peale, Wayne Dyer, Shakti Gawain and Marianne Williamson. These authors taught me a new song to sing and a new record to play.  They allowed me to focuses on statements that would improve my self-confidence. I thought of ideas such as how the power and potential of self-esteem could be gleaned from positive thinking.


I understood the concepts quickly, but had trouble incorporating them into my daily life.  In the years of my early recovery, I used the book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron as a writing guide.  In the journaling process of morning pages, I would write messages to myself.  Simple sentences like – everything is just right.  God has my worries taken care of.  The universe loves you.  Today I am in recovery.  Next, I started writing these phrases on small cards and putting them in places where I would see them throughout my day.  They were taped to mirrors, on the refrigerator, the dashboard of my car and inside my wallet. Everywhere I looked, I was helpfully reminded of new ways to train my brain.  I used this same technique when I learned automatic writing to soothe my troublesome thoughts.


Within the rooms of the 12-step world of recovery, I felt understood. I learned that prayer could heal emotional and physical afflictions as well as self-loathing.  I learned that I could feel love and compassion for myself and others. I learned the power of surrender and what it feels like to completely release fear in my daily life. This was extremely beneficial for my self-esteem.


My journal writing progressed to a daily spiritual practice and I began to experiment with automatic writing where I used my non-dominant hand and let my inner voices of spirit direct my words.

In the beginning, I didn’t know what to call the written pieces.  They were journal entries, yet a bit like poems.  They were affirmations, yet something different.  Calling them prayers seemed right.  I used them in the way I had used the serenity prayer when I first discovering a life without alcohol and drugs.  I realized my mother used verses from the Bible to comfort herself.  My father used the affirmations of Norman Vincent Peale as his thought director. It was all fitting together for me. This helped me to keep writing and I felt happier and stronger.


When I pray, my thoughts shift to positivity and calm, which greatly enhances my day. My life becomes easier.  At some point, I stopped attempting to figure things out myself and surrendered to the truth of it.  I now feel better about myself as well as the world that surrounds me.  I can see possibilities that used to elude me.  I now feel more hopeful everyday and have inspiration to share with others.  For me, that is enough.  I am complete.  I am whole. I am love.


As I was writing this guest article for the Coffey Talk blog, I asked my internal guidance system to offer a prayer to go with the tagline:  Ancient Wisdom.  Modern Style.  Here is what I wrote for the Coffey Talk readers…


Ancient Wisdom


The elders gather to chant our names

there is drumming and food

laughter and fire.


We are held

and blessed

and washed clean in this highest space


Know this today in your modern world

They gather for us


The ancestor’s guide

The angels sing our praise

The spirits stand guard


We are whole


and free

Know this today and each day forward.


About the Author

Kay Christy is  the author of “Gifts from Guidance” and a life coach who has been in recovery for more than 30 years. She received a bachelor’s degree in business from The Evergreen State College and a master’s degree in behavioral science from City University of Seattle. She resides in Olympia, Wash.

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30 Sep

Six Ways My Pup Helps Me to Live Mindfully

BY Shannon Kopp

  1. She wakes me up early

Bella and I share a pillow at night, her head in front of my mine, the small curve of her back pressed against my chest, her soft ear brushing against my chin. She’s a cream-colored, Poodle/Terrier mix who looks part dog, part teddy bear. Bella sleeps in my arms and wakes up in them, too — and sometimes, her urge to play at six a.m. is as intense as my urge for morning coffee.

Quite suddenly, she wakes up, stands on my head, and then jumps off the bed. She pounces on a squeaker toy or a lonely sock, charging from one side of the room to the other until I finally get out of bed. I never appreciate her enthusiasm at the time, but later, I’m thankful for it.

If you want to meditate in the morning, it’s good to be awake.


  1. She teaches me the art of simplicity

I have so many books on meditation I hardly know what to do with myself. My inbox is full of Present Moment Reminders from Eckhart Tolle, and notifications from Oprah and Deepak’s meditation series, and mindfulness emails from the yoga studio down the street, and monthly updates from my local Transcendental Meditation Center. I’m the one that signed up for these things, and I’m glad I did, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed by all of my options I do nothing at all.

Bella does not believe in multi-tasking. She gives each activity her full awareness, whether that’s chewing on a bone, greeting a dog, bathing in sunlight. If she had a mantra, it would be the same one you see on the walls of 12 step meetings: “Keep it simple.” (“And play as often as possible!” Bella might add.)


  1. She sees the world with fresh eyes

When Bella and I go for walks around the neighborhood, she walks as far ahead of me as possible on the leash, and finds so much pleasure in the same route we take each day. She is a master of spotting and celebrating the newness of things, a flower in bloom, a different scent in the sky, an ant crawling across the sidewalk.

Rather than being lost in thought, her eyes sharpen to the present moment, and she notices the faintest of sounds, the tiniest of flowers and bugs. She stops to investigate all of it, never in a hurry. And sometimes, if I pay enough attention to her, this world becomes fresh for me again, too.


  1. She takes care of her body

When Bella is hungry, she eats. When she is tired, she sleeps. When she is thirsty, she laps up her water. Her thoughts have not disconnected her from her body, and she naturally takes care of it. She doesn’t overwork herself or starve herself or stay up all night jacked on coffee. She respects her tiny being, her precious life, — without even realizing she is doing so. And sometimes watching her take care of herself is the gentle nudge I need to put my computer down and eat breakfast. To go to bed. To take a deep, conscious breathe. To pause and ask my heart, body, and mind what it needs.


  1. She brings me back to the moment

I still frequently fall back into old but familiar thought patterns: harshness, perfectionism, anxiety. I hear the voice of my alcoholic father screaming when I was a child, or the rigidity that imprisoned me during the eight years I suffered from an eating disorder, and it makes me believe that peace is impossible. Maybe I should just give up already.

But then, this nonjudgemental, loving presence climbs into my lap. Bella loves me no matter how enlightened or unenlightened I am. She pays no attention to the pessimist or the worrier in me, and she doesn’t define me with the same limiting labels I use to define myself. When I hold her and look into her beady eyes, my heart calms, my awareness increases, and my seemingly inescapable problems fade into the background. I experience the here and now: Bella’s soft pant, the swish of her tail, the grassy scent of her fur, the air moving in and out of her lungs and mine.


  1. She is soft-hearted

Bella is soft-hearted, meaning she doesn’t wear some kind of armor around her heart to protect her from feeling. She doesn’t numb her pain with addiction, or feel the pressure to wear a “brave” face over her real, authentic one. Bella will never tell you she is “fine” or everything is “great” when it is not. Instead, she’ll tell you exactly what she’ is experiencing with the language of her body. She’ll tremble if she’s scared. She’ll leap into your arms if she wants affection. She’ll cry if she’s in pain. She doesn’t try to rationalize or justify what she’ is feeling;, she releases that emotion in the moment. And it reminds me to do the same.

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27 Sep

Is Winning Everything?

In this day and age, “winning” seems to be overemphasised in almost every part of our lives.

Think about it – in sports, it’s all about winning. In sales, it’s all about winning the sale.

Is winning everything?

The legendary Vince Lombardi once said “Winning is not everything. It’s the only thing”.

That quote seems to be taken the wrong way in some cases.

Sure, for a very accomplished sports coach like him, he had to focus on winning.

Some people take that quote as saying that you must win at any cost. Hence, they can resort to doing unethical things in order to win. We see examples of this whenever an elite athlete is tested positive for banned substances.

In an article in the Huffington Post, Cathy Byrd said “Sometimes the greater lesson lies in falling down and getting back up again with a smile on your face”.

I remember watching the Olympic games a few weeks ago (Rio 2016). A hurdler from Haiti, by the name of Jeffrey Julmis hit the first hurdle in a men’s 110 metre hurdles heat. He fell to the ground, got up, and slowly finished the race. The crowd gave him a bigger applause than they gave to the winner of that race!

Cathy Byrd’s above mentioned quote perfectly sums up the scenario that Jeffrey Julmis was in.

I used to get disappointed when I didn’t win or place in speech contests. Let me share an example with you.

In November, 2011, I was in a speech contest. There were 6 contests, and I drew the first speaker’s spot. As soon as I started speaking, a massive storm hit. The rain made a deafening sound, and people at the back of the room could barely hear me.

As soon as my speech finished, the storm had passed. The remaining 5 speakers had no background noise.

I came third in that contest and was devastated.  People were coming up to me and telling me how much they loved the message in my speech, and they wanted me to win. Yet, some of the judges could barely hear me due to the heavy rain.

Upon getting home that night, I decided to quit competing. What a mistake that would’ve been.

The next morning, I changed my decision and decided to work harder. If it rained heavily again, perhaps, I will tell the chairperson that the background noise is too distracting.

The focus shifted on the impact that the message of the speech made, and away from where I finished on the podium.

In the final year of high school, I was in the state division final of the 400 metres and 800 metres race in athletics. During the 400 metres race, I was leading all the way, and fell to the ground only inches away from the finishing line. Thankfully, I dragged my body across the line but the boy was who behind me beat me to the finishing line. I came second.

That day, I felt like I was so close to being a winner. It was all there for me, and it got taken away from me at the last minute. The boy who won the race, offered me his hand and helped me to get up. It was such a humble display of sportsmanship that the crowd cheered and clapped as he lifted me up. That to me, was worth more than winning.

We often hear quotes like “Do you remember who came second at this particular Olympics event? Neither do I. No one remembers the runner up. We only remember winners.”

These types of quotes only focus on what others think, feel, or do, while totally ignoring the person in question ie. the person who came second.

Can you imagine the growth and development that the second place getter would have experienced in achieving what he/she achieved?

Winning is a very sound goal to have in mind. That said, it should not become everything that matters to you.

When everything depends on winning, that is when your attitude can become dangerous.

Dangerous in the sense that you can become tunnel visioned and only focus on one thing, while totally ignoring everything good that is happening and will happen even if you don’t win.

I teach kids at a mixed martial arts academy. Some of their parents take their kids to a competition with the attitude of “If my child doesn’t win today, it is the trainer’s fault”.

Then they will argue with the trainer and threaten to take their son/daughter to another academy or gym.

I often ask these parents “What would it mean to your child if you acknowledge and express gratitude towards everything that your child has achieved so far?”

That definitely gives them something to think about.

There should be as much celebration in growth and development as there is in winning.

The next time you are competing in something or are working hard to win something, please remind yourself of the following:

  • What can I do with what I have if I don’t win?
  • What will I gain as a result of this effort?
  • What will I become as a result of this effort?
  • What will I be telling people around me, about me as a result of my attitude/response if I don’t win?

Quote: “Don’t worry your life away waiting for the elusive prize at journey’s end. The journey is the prize.”
Marsha Mercan

Be prepared to win, work hard to win, and expect the best (whatever that might be).

Inspiring you towards your excellence,

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27 Aug

The One Step To Overpower The Fear Of Failure

Have you ever wanted to do something that seemed important to you, but you didn’t go ahead because you were gripped by the fear of failure?

If so, you are not alone. The fear of failure is a crippling force that affects almost every single human being.


In an article in Forbes, Vanessa Loder wrote “When we go outside of our comfort zone, we feel scared.”

She hit the nail on the head by using the word “scared”. That is the reason why the fear of failure grips so many of us when we wish to take giant leaps in our personal lives or professional lives.

Now, if you are expecting an article that will tell you to “Think positive” or “Believe that you can do anything you want”, then please be warned that this article won’t tell you to do that!

Instead, this article will give you one simple tip on how to overpower the fear of failure.

As simple as it sounds, the simple tip is this – tell yourself profusely that failure (in most cases) is better than inaction!

That’s it. There you have it.

Let me tell you a true story.

Three years ago, my best friend from high school and I started an anti-bulllying charity called Beat Bullying With Confidence Foundation (https://www.facebook.com/BeatBullyingWithConfidence and www.beatbullyingwithconfidence.com)

Initially, we were very concerned about how it will work out and if we will be able to make an impact on people who are being victimised through bullying (especially kids at schools).

We thought about it hard, we made a plan with projections, and we both put thousands of dollars from our pockets into the charity.

Fast forward three years, and is our anti-bullying campaign the mega success that we would’ve liked it to be? No!

There are other anti-bullying charities that have more reach than us, more funding than us, and more media coverage than us.

Did we work hard in the last three years? You bet we did!

To date, we have not received any government or corporate funding, we have not had any major media coverage, and we surely haven’t gone national or international.

There were times when we thought about throwing the towel and walking away. We didn’t.

The point that I am driving home is this – even though we haven’t become hugely popular and haven’t been on national/international speaking tours, our work is making an impact.

When we get emails from parents, saying “We love your anti-bullying app that our daughter downloaded. The exercises in the app are helping her re-gain her self respect”, we know that we did the right thing by starting this charity and releasing an anti-bullying app (which you can download for free by going to your app store or play store. Do a search for Beat Bullying With Confidence).

If you are to overpower the fear of failure, please remind yourself that failure (in most cases) is far better than inaction.

When I was a Life Coach, one of the biggest challenges that my clients (be it corporate executives or university students) faced was procrastination.

Inaction, in my opinion compliments the fear of failure. If you are gripped by the fear of failure, inaction will be like a very good friend to you.

The simplest way to kill inaction and conquer the fear of failure is to do something!

Once again, remind yourself that you are better off by giving it a go, than by being gripped by the fear of failure, and embracing inaction in the process.

Make a list of why you should give it a go. Your list could look like this:

  • What will I learn through this experience if I decided to go ahead and take action?
  • What will I learn about myself?
  • How will I develop and grow?
  • How can I get others to support me in this?
  • What is the opportunity cost?

Just by reminding yourself that failure (in most cases) is far better than inaction, you will be more empowered, encouraged, and excited to take action.

Think about this for a moment – if people didn’t overpower the fear of failure, what would life be like for you and me right now? How many inventions would have never taken place?
Mediocrity would’ve had a higher presence in society today.

Quote: “Failure is another stepping stone to greatness”. Oprah Winfrey

Please think of the fear of failure as a boom gate on your road to achievement. Just because the boom gate is down, it doesn’t mean that you will be stuck in that spot for ever. Once the boom gate goes up, you have full liberty to move right ahead.

Acknowledge the fear of failure, and then overpower it by reminding yourself that failure (in most cases) if far better than inaction. Then, inaction will be replaced by positive action.

I hope I have given you a simple insight into how you can overpower the fear of failure, and become proactive in achieving what you were put on earth to do!

Inspiring you towards your excellence,
Ron Prasad (Author, Speaker, Personal Development Coach)

PS: To order my book, please go to www.WelcomeToYourLifeBook.com. For $19.95, you get the book, thousands of dollars in bonus gifts from some of the best personal development experts in the world (such as Bob Proctor, Marci Shimoff, Dr Joe Rubino), and you get to give back to the community by supporting my charity!  I appreciate your support.

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26 Aug

A Logical Perspective on God

People have many different perspectives on who or what God is. For some, God has a specific form, for some God has many forms, and for some God is formless. Some believe in multiple Gods and some in One. Some believe their notion of God alone to be correct and all else to be wrong, while some believe their notion of God to be inclusive of all other beliefs. And then there are some who think there is no such entity as God.

Among all these perspectives, the term “God” refers to a Higher Power or a Higher Reality than the world we live in. Some pray to the Higher Power in the hope of making things better for themselves in this world and/or beyond. Some have true unconditional love and devotion towards the Higher Reality as they believe its lot more pure and unchanging compared to anything else in this world and hence much more worthy of love. Some think this world is the only reality and don’t believe in any other Higher Reality.

People who fall in the last category are usually being rational/logical/intellectual about what they believe to be real. They only go by what science has to say about reality, and since science hasn’t proven the existence of a Higher Reality, they don’t believe in it. Before you congratulate yourself for being in this category, let me mention that those who have true unconditional love and devotion for God are much more peaceful and happy in life than those who don’t. I can vouch for this as I have personally experienced all these categories myself up-close. So the intellect could actually be blocking you from experiencing something really wonderful. As Mark Twain said: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that it just ain’t so.”

Instead of letting the intellect be a blocker, it can be used as a tool to explore if the existence of a Higher Reality atleast makes logical sense. Lets see how it actually does:

Say you are taking a walk downtown amidst many shops, malls, etc. and the place is bustling with people, some of them with pets, and there is probably also a small park on the side. You marvel at the tremendous variety of apparel, art pieces, gadgets, devices, etc. on display, admire the architecture of the buildings, and maybe also notice the different types of vehicles moving about. You think to yourself how advanced human intelligence is to have created all these sophisticated things. And then you look at the different humans, animals, trees, plants, etc. that are way more sophisticated than the most advanced machinery ever created by human intelligence. Would you think that all of them were just created by chance without requiring any intelligent cause?

We take for granted a human-like intelligence to be the cause of even a simple piece of pottery, what to say of the magnificent array of galaxies, stars, planets, moons and other celestial objects spread across the entire universe. One may believe that all of these came into existence after a big explosion (as a popular science theory tells us), but it doesn’t take too deep a thinking to wonder if it really appeared just by chance out of nothingness. And even if it somehow did, how come all the “stuff” coming out of this explosion arranged itself so elegantly? One may argue that those are just the different fields, forces and other laws of nature in action. But why do these laws even exist in the first place? By chance? And then how come dead non-living matter suddenly became alive and started sustaining itself and producing more of its kind? Again by chance? And those single living cells just started evolving into complex organisms by chance too? And eventually, just by chance, we have human beings who are capable of looking back at the universe and ponder upon its and their own existence!?

If left to chance, each of the above events would have an extremely low probability of happening, and a long series of them occurring one after the other would be surely considered impossible. In fact, if such events can happen by chance, pretty much anything can happen, e.g. all the water on the planet might dry up instantly or a new moon might appear in the sky suddenly or you might start growing another head this moment or pretty much any such random thing that seems to be impossible. But such things don’t happen and the universe appears to work in a very systematic and lawful manner. All of these indicate the presence of an intelligent cause, making it a way more logical and sensible option than the absence of it. Having an intelligent cause in-turn points to the existence of a Higher Reality that we seem to be unable to perceive, understand or even imagine.

This would all be just plain theory if there weren’t countless people through the ages across different parts of the world who have actually experienced a Higher Reality. These people are not bluffing. A bluff would not last more than a few years or a few decades at max, but we still see majority of the world trusting various scriptures written many thousands of years ago. This is only because the Truths revealed in these scriptures have been repeatedly validated and re-validated over the centuries and millenniums through real experiences of innumerable people. Moreover, the teachings in these scriptures cannot have any underlying selfish motive as they do not benefit anyone else except the student.

Its true that the experiences people have had are very diverse, as is clear from the variety of descriptions of the Higher Reality across different religions and sects. The reason for this diversity is that the Higher Reality is vast (has to be if its the intelligent cause behind this entire universe and more) and the human mind is tiny. So, in most cases, the mind is only able to experience the Reality partially. Hence, people’s accounts of it vary depending on which aspect of Reality they personally experienced. Moreover, different minds have different temperaments and have an inclination towards a certain aspect of Reality, which also results in them having different experiences. Even if there are differences in people’s experiences, they are all inherently consistent. Upanishads, the ancient scriptures of India, are the most comprehensive account of the Higher Reality as they are based on the experiences of hundreds of realized sages and saints as compared to just one (which is the case in most other scriptures of the world). Here is an immaculate talk on the nature of the Higher Reality as per the Upanishads: Defining God

One of the reasons why intellectually-oriented people are put-off by the notion of a Higher Reality is because it usually gets portrayed as God(s) in superhuman-like forms located somewhere within or beyond the universe. Its important to note that these forms are much more effective than something formless in terms of vividly expressing the pure and perfect qualities pertaining to the Higher Reality. They help stimulate tremendous love and devotion within an individual, which is a proven path (called Bhakti Yoga) to directly experience the Higher Reality. But one doesn’t have to blindly believe in these forms as there is another path to directly know the Higher Reality completely based on intellect and knowledge (called Jnana Yoga). The talk I linked above is especially beneficial for this path.

You might be wondering what difference does the knowledge of a Higher Reality make in your life. Apart from the fact that your whole life and everything around you derives from that Higher Reality, here’s the ultimate bombshell answer straight from the Upanishads: That Thou Art (Tat Tvam Asi) – the Supreme Highest Reality is what you really are! You think you are a body-mind-intellect complex but you are gravely mistaken about your own reality. The search for the Higher Reality – which is both transcendent and immanent – is not about explaining the creation or working of the universe, neither is it about experiencing something externally, its about knowing who you truly are. You will eventually discover on this magnificent journey that you are not a living being trying to have a spiritual experience, but that you are an eternal spiritual “being” that seems to be undergoing a life experience. And its high time for you to realize your own true nature which is no less than Infinite Existence, Consciousness, Bliss. That alone can help you overcome the miseries and sufferings of life and bring unlimited peace and joy. It is the highest and the only real purpose of life – nothing else matters!

(This article was cross-posted from happinessjourney.net/post/149527488930/a-logical-perspective-on-god)

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27 Jul

Embracing Opportunities vs Being Overcautious

Many years ago, I read a quote by the legendary Jim Rohn who said “If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

That is so pertinent to almost anyone alive today.

What is a risk anyway? It is the exposure to the unknown. It is being vulnerable to loss. It is a gamble.

What is the opposite of risk? The opposite of taking a risk is called certainty.

Please think about the following questions for a moment:

  • Are you mostly taking risks in life?
  • Are you mostly looking for certainty in life?
  • Are you balancing the two out generally in life?

In my first book, I wrote about this in detail. When I worked as a financial adviser, I used to do an investment risk profile of my clients before investing their money.

I wish that people did a risk profile for their lives and then asked themselves:

  • Am I taking too many risks in life?
  • Am I playing it too safe in life and looking for certainty?

Followed by:

  • Are my results in life what I really want?
  • Are my results in life due to me taking too many risks?
  • Are my results in life due to me playing it too safe?

What responses did you get?

Do you feel like making changes in your thought patterns after responding to the questions above?

In a recent article of his, Tony Robbins stated “We’re not wired for happiness; we are wired for anxiety. We are wired for what’s wrong. We are wired for survival, which means our brain is constantly looking for anything that could hurt us.”

Yes, you can safely say that human beings have “playing it safe” hard wired in them.
The one thing that I learnt in my financial planning career was this – generally speaking, higher risks meant higher rewards.

Once again, I said “generally speaking” ie. not always.

You have to use your own discretion and take into account how you can take calculated risks.

In an article in Forbes, Margie Warrell stated “Fear regret more than failure – history has shown that we fail far more from timidity than we do from over daring.”

Neither Tony, nor Margie, nor Ron is suggesting that you should risk it all and take a gamble at every turn in life.

What this article is striving to achieve is to get you out of your comfort zone and to embrace opportunities.

Here are five steps that you can take in order to overcome playing it safe most of the time:

  1. Ask yourself “What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?” – This question will bring to the forefront of your mind the worst case scenario. Nothing could be worse than that! If the worst case scenario doesn’t scare you to death, then you should be encouraged to take action and have faith in things turning out in your favour. Why? Because nothing worse could happen.
  2. Ask yourself “What will I still gain or learn in the worst case scenario?” – The response to this question will make you focus on the positives if you found yourself in the worst case scenario. For example, you could’ve gained an invaluable experience or a lifelong lesson. Always look for something that will support you in being productive in the future.
  3. Do the best you can with the best you have – If you left no stone unturned and did everything in your power to ensure a favourable outcome, then you should hold your head high at the end. Despite the outcome (favourable or unfavourable), you can tap yourself on the shoulder for doing what you did. The world is full of people who do not execute. You have put yourself in an elite league by taking action. Find pride and solace in that.
  4. Look at the opportunity cost – What will happen if you didn’t take action? Sure, you could still be in your comfort zone and be playing it safe. As Jim Rohn put it “You will settle for the ordinary”. Make a list of all possible opportunity cost scenarios. I read a few months ago that Mark Zuckerberg invited five of his fellow university students to explore a business opportunity. Only two of them came to the meeting. Guess what? They both are billionaires now! Can you imagine the opportunity cost for the other three university students who decided not to attend the meeting?
  5. Review the regular risks you take subconsciously – I clearly remember this – When I was a kid, my dad and one of his closest friends were talking about taking risks in their career. My dad’s friend (who was more like an uncle to me) said to my dad “Every day we take risks. We leave home in the morning, and there is a risk of being bitten by a dog, of being involved in a car crash, or of being struck by lightning”. The point of illustrating that was to show that we do take risks daily without realising. When you review these risks, you might become less risk averse when it comes to embracing opportunities that life presents to you.

The point of this article is not to get you to blindly take risks and be exposed to higher losses or danger.

All I am saying is that you should explore embracing opportunities by using the above mentioned five steps, and then decide on a course of action. Life rewards those who take action!

Quote: “The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy”. Jim Rohn

I hope I have given you a simple insight into embracing opportunities instead of being overcautious.

Inspiring you towards your excellence,
Ron Prasad (Author, Speaker, Personal Development Coach)

PS: I have just launched a series of personal development videos called Welcome To Your Life. Here is Episode 10 (How To Say “No” Respectfully) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_Vu9jyXIMc

PPS: To order my book, please go to www.WelcomeToYourLifeBook.com. For $19.95, you get the book, thousands of dollars in bonus gifts from some of the best personal development experts in the world (such as Bob Proctor, Marci Shimoff, Dr Joe Rubino), and you get to give back to the community by supporting my charity!  I appreciate your support.

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06 Jul

De-Stress Yourself by Walking Your Own Path

By Doron Libshtein


As founder of the Mentors Channel, I have had the privilege and joy of working very closely with some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers and mentors like Deepak Chopra, Karen Berg, Byron Katie, Robin Sharma, Tim Kelley, Osho International and more.  As a result, I have worked hard to spread their inspiring words and messages across the world to millions of people.


Today, I would like to invite you into my world, and share with you one very important and profound insight about stress.  This insight is what I share with the many people who come to consult with me.  These people almost always complain about feeling chronic stress and lack of balance in their lives.  They are also frustrated because they cannot find the “de-stress” tools to cope.


I have recently received hundreds of questions through the Mentors Channel about how to achieve more balance and reduce stress.  It has become abundantly clear to me how important it is for me to share my profound insight on these matters that I have achieved as a result of my many years of experience with meditation and life coaching.


Here is what I have found:


When you were a very small child, most decisions were made for you. But then you grew up and started making your own choices – what to study, where to work, what friends to surround yourself with, who to marry, whether or not to have children and so on.  Sometimes you felt that you were making the choices freely, while other times you may have felt forced to choose a particular course.


Consequently, at some point in time, you discovered a very disturbing truth: You are no longer in charge. From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, you are stressed about your life.  Whether these stressors come from your job, money issues, marriage or other aspects of your lifestyle, it may become apparent that a number of your past choices are the stress culprits.


Here are some examples of what people have been sharing with me over the years about stress:

  • Many know the power of meditation and the enormous positive effect of taking time for themselves. However, I often hear that they are too stressed to find the time to meditate, even for just a few minutes a day because of all their obligations. This just leads to more stress and frustration because they know what they need to do, but feel powerless.
  • On the other hand, I also encounter those who have a rich spiritual life, meditate, attend seminars and take time for self-reflection. Some of these people are even in the healing professions.  However, they oftentimes express feelings of discontent and angst because they have not made enough money, achieved a certain stature in their profession or achieved the lifestyle they envisioned for themselves.
  • And then I also hear from others, who share with me that they have everything – money, a good family, a good job, high stature within their community – and yet still feel stressed. They often express a feeling of being unfulfilled amounting to a growing frustration with their life.  Despite all their achievements, they are not happy, feeling like they are not being true to themselves.


Why has this happened?


The answer is not obvious. It is rooted in the choices you have made in the past and continue to make. The frustration, stress, lack of balance, lack of time – these are direct consequences of these choices.   You have tried your best to do what you think is right for you, but somewhere along the way you lost your sense of purpose.  That is because what you thought was your purposeful path might not have really been your own.


It is clear to me that you cannot be genuinely happy or fulfilled until you become fully committed to finding YOUR path of purpose and fulfillment in your life.  Walking your own path means being completely in control of the choices you make in your life that can lead to a genuine sense of purpose.  (Research has shown that people who express that they live a purposeful life live healthier, longer lives).


Here’s the good news:  Finding your path to fulfillment is available to all of us.   You just have to make the decision to find it and be willing to seek out the best resources and mentors to help you along the way.


Imagine waking up every morning knowing that you are no longer stressed.  Imagine spending your day exactly how you feel you are meant to.  Even when things do not work out as planned, you know you are on your purposeful path and are not worried that everything is not perfect.


Imagine knowing when to say yes and when to say no to what comes your way and feel great about it.


Imagine feeling fully aligned physically, mentally and spiritually.


Imagine going to sleep at night knowing that you walked your path of purpose that day and feel full of life’s energy, rather than drained or exhausted.


I know this is all possible because I have personally experienced it in my own life.  I have also seen it with the great mentors I have worked with along my path.  As a result, I founded the Mentors Channel six years ago and have dedicated myself to help others receive this great gift of walking their own paths.  For help in finding your own path, I implore you to speak with one of our many mentors who can help you discover insights about yourself that you may have trouble uncovering on your own.


Doron Libshtein is the mentor to the world’s top mentors.  Having been mentored throughout his own career, Libshtein has come full circle and is now regarded as a world-leading self-development mentor, having worked closely with the field’s top luminaries, including Deepak Chopra, Byron Katie, Robin Sharma, Tim Kelley, Marcia Weider and Karen Berg, founder of the Kabbalah Center.  He is also a prolific author and strategic entrepreneur, seeking to foster personal growth using the potential of the digital space.


As chairman and founder of Mentors Channel (www.mentorschannel.com), Libshtein has established a thriving interactive community where the world’s best mentors and coaches help millions of people live fuller, richer lives.

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