An Excerpt from Seeking Jordan by Matthew McKay, PhD

The sound of truth, like some harmony that only the wise can hear, rings out in the spiritual salons and in the clerics’ quarters; it is heard from the high pulpits and after eating peyote.

But the sound of truth — the words and rhythms — is just a seduction. The emotion of certainty is just an emotion — no more true or false than any other. The mind says yes because the mind fears what it can’t predict or explain.

The mind seeks the exquisite relief of order and linearity. It seeks the Great One who can finally explain our pain, our waiting in the dark. The mind is always ready to say yes because it is wired into us, into our hunger to make sense of this place.

The idea of truth deceives us. The light holds a million versions of the truth — no one of them complete or whole. Each is the partial wisdom of one moment, looking across one vista. Each is a moment of great vision and a lie, because certainty seduces, and in that certainty every other vantage place is lost.

We seek certainty because it is the antidote to fear. We seek certainty because it’s the one thing impossible to find here.

But certainty is more dangerous than doubt. From conviction come razor-edged rules. Beliefs born of certainty harden and become swords of emotional violence. They cut and wound. They kill love because love — above all — accepts. It softens around each necessary flaw.

Certainty divides the world into what is true and false, rejected and embraced. It is the defense of the righteous, the self-willed. It is what war — in every form — is made of.

So this is certain: there is no certain truth here. And the certainty we think we find is often damaging; it is never the last word. It is never complete.

While doubt is painful, it is not a curse. Jordan has told me that doubt and uncertainty are necessary to our development as souls. They create a rocky field where things grow that can be found in no other place.

***

Sitting at my childhood desk once again, I meditate as I prepare to speak with Jordan. Behind the glass mask, a candle emits blue light. Outside, a susurrant breath of wind pushes through the redwoods. Finally, from some internal stillness, I ask Jordan why doubt and uncertainly are a necessary part of our life here. His answer comes in just a moment. Jordan explains:

Certainty is not a healthy state for souls — incarnate or discarnate. There is an immense amount we don’t know. All learning must take place through the lens of doubt, which is why each thing we learn should be held as a mere hypothesis.

Doubt lies at the root of hope, and it is the experience of hope that makes seeking possible, that drives the quest for new knowledge and wisdom. So doubt motivates learning, the quest to enter what is unknown, the determination to turn darkness into light.

The doubt of incarnates, isolated as we are from our soul groups and guides, is especially painful. Nothing is certain; nothing is verifiable. We can’t even know with certainty whether the physical world is an illusion of consciousness. And while I can tell you that the physical universe exists in space and time, my words can’t prove that you aren’t dreaming. Where can we go for the truth? There is no one to ask except gurus, who are often lost themselves and may be making things up.

Here’s something important: the doubt of incarnates is crucial to the growth of all consciousness. That’s because seeking, in an environment where nothing can be proved or verified, creates openness to all the infinite possibilities. We are unencumbered by any absolute knowledge, so we can soar to imagine endless possibilities.

Paradoxically, discarnates are limited by vast, seemingly incontrovertible knowledge, which makes it more difficult for them to imagine the dark, unseen corners of the universe. We come to Earth (and other worlds) to know nothing and to imagine everything. With no certainty, with only intuition and the scientific method to guide us, we can reach past the observable bones of the universe to think what has never yet been thought and to ask what has never yet been a question. That is the gift of living in this uncertain place.

We have used our experience of not knowing to seek wisdom since souls began inhabiting bodies. We have sought truth through myths and allegories, through epic stories passed down from our elders, through beauty, and through endless observations of what works and what doesn’t. We have touched truth partially; we have at times sensed something enormous, just beyond the edges of thought. We have given all that we sensed and saw and imagined to collective consciousness — without any certainty of what was true or false.

That is what we do here.

# # #

Matthew McKay, PhD, is the author of Seeking Jordan and numerous other books. He is a clinical psychologist, professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA, and founder and publisher at New Harbinger Publications. Visit him online at http://www.SeekingJordan.com.

Excerpted from Seeking Jordan: How I Learned the Truth about Death and the Invisible Universe. Copyright © 2016 by Matthew McKay, PhD. Reprinted with permission from New World Library. www.newworldlibrary.com

An Excerpt from Seeking Jordan by Matthew McKay, PhD

At the funeral, all eyes are on the coffin. As if the one inside was the victim of misfortune, struck down by some malicious fate.

Death isn’t bad luck, because there is no difference between the living and the dead. The one in the coffin is doing the same thing as the one grieving in the pew: loving and learning.

There is no difference between the living and the dead because the young have already been old, already taken a last breath, already watched planets die and galaxies collide. The one in the coffin is finished with this play. That’s all. And has taken everything learned back to “the whole,” back to the light.

The mourners go home. And while they grieve, the departed one is in the circle, greeting a brother from one life, or greeting a father, a daughter, a friend from others. Greeting a lover who left early, and a lover who in another play was left behind. Greeting the ones who were teachers, who were antagonists, who were protectors or protected. Greeting the one who ended a past life, who was a murderer.

The circle is always complete. We are always in it, and the funeral is an illusion. While souls actually experience no separation (just as Jordan is still with me), most human minds believe that the loss of the body is the loss of the person. And that if something cannot be seen, it isn’t there.

The human mind, having amnesia for all past lives, identifies each person (soul) with a single body. And if that body/person can no longer be seen, it is assumed to be gone. Lost.

But that isn’t the case. Jordan’s soul is right next to me, guiding me as I write this. Souls do not leave us, and the circle does not break just because that brilliant collection of molecules called a body is put in a box.

I know this, yet still I sometimes feel alone. I ask Jordan, and he explains:

The illusion of separation is perpetuated by religious images of the afterlife — an extraordinary realm so different from our planet that its inhabitants seem unreachable and lost to us. But again, it is the human mind creating fictions.

Images of the afterlife imbued with religious constructions of god and fantastic beings (for example, archangels and demons) are inventions of priests and holy men who attempted to make the journey while still embodied on Earth. Often aided by drugs or assaults on the body (including pain, sleeplessness, sensory overload, or deprivation), they saw in the “afterlife” what they wanted to see, what they feared seeing, or simply what their minds created in an altered state. The Tibetan and Egyptian books of the dead, the Upanishads, and the visions of countless mystics are examples of these journeys.

The Christian image of heavenly hosts singing god’s praises is also just a lovely hallucination. Such images — clouds and harps and angels at the gate — create hope. But paradoxically, they place embodied souls further away from those in spirit, making it seem that discarnates are in a place that’s sublime, distant, and inaccessible. These invented images hide the fact that departed souls are as much with us now as they were in life — perhaps more so, because now they are present as soon as we think of them. Telepathy covers any distance, instantly bringing souls together.

Souls in spirit love us as much as ever, think of us as much as ever, laugh with us at the absurdities of life, feel concerned about our pain, and celebrate our good choices. There is a simple reason for this. The relationship between living and departed souls is as deep, as vibrant, as committed, and as much in the present moment as ever it was on Earth.

This seems true to me. I am more in contact with Jordan now than I was at any time from when he left for college at eighteen until he was murdered at twenty-three. I consult with him often — about everything from family issues to personal choices. I send and receive messages of love and encouragement. And we are writing this book together.

I cannot hold or kiss my boy, which is a tremendous loss. But I can talk to him anytime, anywhere. There is no barrier — in this or in the spirit world — that can keep us apart.

The Struggle with Doubt

The only thing now standing between us is my own doubt. The doubt visits often, whispering that my conversations with Jordan are wishes rather than truth, and that all he has taught me is a fabrication, my own thoughts attributed to him. When in doubt, I withdraw. I seek him less. I feel frightened that I’ll discover something false in what he says, which will destroy my faith in us.

The doubt is unavoidable. I’ve learned that I must live with its whisperings even while I listen to Jordan. The doubt never leaves, because in this place absolute truth is hidden from us. Mother Teresa wrote that most of her life was spent with no sense of the presence of god. And whether or not the god she thought existed is really there, this dialectic remains: the quest for truth and the uncertainty are inescapably one experience.

Jordan says we are like shortwave radios, tuned to the frequency of some distant voice. Through the static, we pick up a phrase or two. We try to sew that into some coherence, but we have caught only a part of it. Through desire or projection, we may supply the missing words and get most of it wrong. But still we must listen.

I’ve learned one more thing about doubt. My need to send Jordan love and feel his love in return is bigger than doubt, bigger than the uncertainty and loneliness of living here without being able to hug my boy.

# # #

Matthew McKay, PhD, is the author of Seeking Jordan and numerous other books. He is a clinical psychologist, professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA, and founder and publisher at New Harbinger Publications. Visit him online at http://www.SeekingJordan.com.

Excerpted from Seeking Jordan: How I Learned the Truth about Death and the Invisible Universe. Copyright ©2016 by Matthew McKay, PhD. Reprinted with permission from New World Library. www.newworldlibrary.com

Until relatively recently, yoga, meditation, and non-traditional spirituality – as opposed to classical religious practices – were widely perceived in the West as esoteric pursuits with little to offer mainstream society. Now they are highly-valued, prominent fields of endeavor with massive cultural buy-in. Having dedicated 40+ years to this “questionable arena,” it is rewarding to note the positive shift in public opinion, and, the appreciable enhancement such activities have made on so many lives. In fact, writing an article like this is challenging because there is no longer a dearth of information on the topic but, rather, an exhaustive volume of research requiring extensive time to read, process, and apply. On the up side, an abundance of scientific literature now attests to a range of psycho-social and body/mind benefits resulting from meditation and Sacred practices, (i.e. pertaining to religion or spirituality). Fortunately, these positive outcomes are no longer points of anecdotal testimony subject to academic dispute, but, matters of established fact. For psychologists then, several especially relevant questions arise regarding how to include this domain within the scope of practice. Specifically, when is it appropriate to engage patients on topics pertaining to the Sacred, meditation, and related activities? When is it viable to suggest patients explore such in adjunctive alignment with on-going therapy? And, when should these topics or practices not be addressed?

Such questions require more time and space to address than this brief article allows. Accordingly, readers may find additional value and a more comprehensive understanding of these issues in the APA Handbook of Psychology, Religion, & Spirituality (2013: Kenneth I Pargament, PhD) However, to capsulize two key areas let me answer the last question first: Psychotic patients and those with too severe a character disorder are best served by not engaging in mystical or meditative pursuits as such activities could de-stabilize their mental coherence or trigger added psychiatric complications. However, many less severe patients confronting depression, anger, anxiety, stress, hypertension, addiction, insomnia, chronic pain, or, mild-to-moderate neuroses, defensiveness, compromised self-awareness, and self-destructive behaviors may benefit considerably from intelligently applied meditation if they are sufficiently motivated to practice. There is even related evidence suggesting that therapists who engage in meditative practices themselves, or hold to compassionate spiritual paradigms, may passively contribute to enhanced therapeutic outcomes.

The results of these findings is genuinely encouraging yet there is still no standardized body of information guiding psychologists to “best-practice” scenarios for different patient types and conditions. This can put a burden on therapists to learn about the functional impact of different meditative and spiritual practices, plus the brain-body changes arising from each. In short, it gets complicated quickly. From my experience, though, such detailed assessment is not always necessary or even useful. The bulk of real therapeutic value arises more simply in what I describe in Meditation as a Way of Life (Quest: 2014), as continued receptive spiritual attunement and what Herbert Benson, MD of the Mind/Body Medical Institute, Beth Israel-Deaconess Hospital, Boston similarly identifies as the Faith Factor. Simply put, potent healing progress can arise when a Relaxation-Response state is repeatedly cultivated through prayer or meditative techniques, and, when it is associated with deeply-held, affirmative philosophic, religious, or spiritual convictions. This cumulatively triggers top-down, nerve-cell-firing brain patterns linked to healthy states, aka “remembered wellness,” which, when infused with profound spiritual faith, helps catalyze internal transformations that significantly aid patients in disengaging from toxic thought patterns and related negative behaviors.

At the end of the day, the precise meditation technique or spiritual belief a patient practices may be less important than the fact that they repeatedly seek receptive attunement with the Sacred and, by doing so, invoke a faith factor and the subtle psycho-energetic dynamics associated with it to restore greater wholeness to the body/mind. The capacity of what I term “the deep self” to induce or accelerate healing through meditation and spiritual practice has been repeatedly demonstrated. The key challenge, then, is learning how to beneficially harness sacred skills and knowing when or where to refer patients when they might benefit by related assistance. Despite needing to locate viable resources, it is exciting to have a spectrum of integrative therapeutic tools which, though age old, have garnered modern respect through scientifically demonstrable beneficial outcomes.

Rev. Alan Pritz is an Interfaith Minister with a Minneapolis-based spiritual counseling/coaching, and consulting practice who’s trained in and taught meditation for 32+ years. Author of the award winning book, Meditation as a Way of Life: Philosophy & Practice (Quest: 2014) Reverend Pritz assists individuals and organizations with meditation, spirituality, and related themes to promote personal health, growth, and work/life balance. For information about his Minneapolis practice and services visit: www.awake-in-life.com.

Recommended Reading

1. Beyond the Relaxation Response, by Herbert Benson M.D., Times Books: 1984
2. Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine, by Larry Dossey, M.D., HarperCollins: 1993
3. Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD, Bantam Books: 1990
4. Meditation as a Way of Life: Philosophy & Practice, by Rev. Alan L. Pritz, Quest: 201
5. Meditation and Psychiatry, Michael McGee, MD http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719544/
6. The Link between Religion and Health: Psychoneuroimmunology and the Faith Factor Edited by Harold G. Koenig and Harvey J. Cohen
7. Meditation: What You Need To Know: NIH https://nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm
8. 7 Ways Meditation Can Actually Change The Brain: http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/02/09/7-ways-meditation-can-actually-change-the-brain/
9. The Physical and Psychological Effect of Meditation: A Review of Contemporary Research by Michael Murphy, Steven Donovan, and Eugene Taylor http://www.noetic.org/sites/default/files/uploads/files/Meditation_Intro.pdf
10. What Role Do Religion and Spirituality Play In Mental Health? Kenneth I. Pargament, PhD, http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/03/religion-spirituality.aspx

 *Article originally written for the February, 2016 edition of the Minnesota Psychological Association Newsletter

My focus has been on the topic of Productivity lately as I’ve been asked to participate as a guest speaker for D’vorah Lansky’s Master Class on Productivity coming up in November. D’vorah focuses on providing training to help her author community reach more readers. You are, of course, welcome to attend. The upcoming webinar – 5 Productivity Secrets for Savvy Authors – will kick off a series of additional discussions on productivity. Here is a link if you are interested in learning more about it: http://goo.gl/4otZsu.

Recently I enjoyed a lovely lunch with Phaedra Purdue, the representative from one of my vendors on Home and Family. We did not know each other well, but I had invited Phaedra to read my Survivor’s Guide: 12 Tips to Gain Inner Peace. As it turned out, Phaedra is aligned with this work and our lunch was nothing, if not provocative.

Phaedra’s background is such that women in her community were treated as important members of any community decisions. They were respected for their connection to consciousness and long term insights into future events. Phaedra had been a contributor to a book that emerged from a Google conference on Innovative Women. Our conversation quickly turned on the topic of quantum mechanics and quantum consciousness.  

I enjoy having this type of discussion. I have long felt the connection to Source Energy which has been underscored by the descriptions of a vast ocean of consciousness in which we float. We are not separate from it. It is in all places.  

However, even though such a connection is always possible, many people do not know how to access quantum consciousness because their ego, conscious mind and activities block the messages if they believe they are separate from it. If we are to access the fields of infinite possibility in order to manifest our dreams, we will want to reduce the impact of our ego in order to develop a relationship with the subconscious (or non-conscious) mind. Quantum physicist, Amit Goswami provides several practices we can use to accomplish this connection. The first is intention-setting.

As Dr. Goswami explains it in his book Quantum Creativity, the ego expresses the intention, but what actually happens depends on our alignment with the subconscious mind that is eternally linked to Quantum Consciousness. Therefore, the practice he recommends is a meditative one in which we expand beyond our limited self-interests to include the benefit to the greater whole. Wayne Dyer wrote of intent, not as something you do, but as something that already exists as an invisible field of energy within us. Asmit Goswami and other spiritual leaders describe our link to it as occurring through our subconscious mind.

Stating intention is an important concept when speaking about purpose, vision and goals (“PV&G). In order to pursue our PV&G, we have to bring our ideas, desires and will into alignment to take action, however, often we are blocked and cannot sum the will to take action. How do we clear the block?

The way described above by Goswami is one way. I have learned through personal experience that we can build a relationship with our subconscious mind by choosing nonlinear communication and by asking positive questions. Noah St. John recommends positive why questions (called Afformations), however, it is also possible to ask open questions like “what if.”

The ego may still rear its head after we leave the meditative state. Until the conscious mind has become disciplined, excuses may proclaim the reasons why our intentions are improbably. The choices become difficult to differentiate. How do we deal with that? How do we get clear on our intention?

Once again, a technique emerges out of the study of quantum physics. When making a decision, recognize that there is a period of time where the outcome of any choice is unknown. The outcome could go either way. In quantum physics circles, this is exemplified by Schrodinger’s Cat.

In that example, as you look at a closed box, you are asked if the cat inside is dead or alive. You have no way of knowing in that moment until you take off the box top and then you can see the true answer.

For Wayne Dyer, that translated into a guiding principle, that if a positive and negative outcome are possible in the lack of knowledge, then choose to act as if the positive will occur and stop worrying about the negative.

But what happens when you have a decided desire for one outcome over another?   It has long been held that we can influence the results just in the process of observing. And Lynn McTaggert has documented studies that seem to demonstrate that we can influence the results by focusing the power of intention upon a thing.

One way we can do that is to act as if you are what you desire. By holding your thoughts there, you are influencing results that with what is possible, your desire is possible as well.

Another method is to define why you want a particular outcome. What does it mean to you? What difference will it make?

The discussion goes on and on. Intention is so much more connected to our energetic essence than we realize. Therefore, if you are lacking the will to act on your desires even though you feel passionately about them, pause and reconnect quietly to your inner self and listen. You don’t have to believe anything. You don’t have to subscribe to dogma that makes you uncomfortable. Just be still, center in the quiet and allow inspiration to emerge. When we are inspired, we shift into the appropriate action.

Blessings on your intentions,

Susan

Recently, I was speaking to a HR manager who has been asking me for support in bringing out the best in the people she works with.

Her question was very similar to what many HR managers, team leaders, coaches, and mentors ask – “How do I improve the performance of the people I work with? Is there a formula or a method?”

Parents might also be wondering the same thing – is there a way in which I can bring out the best in my children?

Although there are many methods out there, here is something that can be used in your personal life,as well as your professional life.

There are three steps to the process:

1. Awaken – in my years of coaching and mentoring, one thing has been clear to me. That is, some people are not aware of what lies inside them ie. their hidden strength, potential, talent, and abilities. I remember a quote by the legendary Ralph Waldo Emerson “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” The first step is to help people in uncovering what lies inside them – their untapped potential. There are many books and articles out there which focus on this subject. The one question that I ask people who wish to realise their untapped potential is “What would your life be like if you were living up to your potential?” Followed by “Which of those things can you do right now?” This gives them some sense of reality. In the present moment, being realistic can be a good start. Another strategy that I use is asking them for their past achievements eg. “Name a goal that you achieved that seemed like a big challenge at some stage”. When they give me an example, I will ask “What will it take to exceed that achievement?” Once again, this gets them thinking. Then I ask them to make a list of the skills that they would love to develop. Finally, I use a question that Dr Michael Broder mentioned in his enlightening book Stage Climbing – “If you were operating at your highest potential in this part of your life, what advice would you have for someone else who was struggling with this issue?”
2. Develop – now that the person has some idea about what lies inside them and what they wish to do, it is time to act on the physical plane. I will now ask “What will it take to develop those inner qualities so that you can take action (execute)? While speaking to this HR manager, I asked her to spend time and resources on developing the people she works with. This is where a coach, mentor, or a professional trainer comes in handy. I remember when I started playing cricket for a club, my batting coach spent hours on my footwork. Although it seemed repetitive at the time, the energy and time spent was well rewarded! The insights from my coach were invaluable. I also suggest to people to do some self learning and developing – reading books, reading articles, listening to podcasts, and watching online videos. Developing a person’s skills can require time, and patience is required. If you are helping someone develop themselves (in a professional or personal capacity), please keep one word in mind – empathy. Everyone learns and develops differently. So, keep encouraging them to develop and grow.    
3. Reinforce – once the person has started thinking about what they wish to achieve and has started working on developing themself, start supporting them in many different ways. If the person is working hard in a training program, ask them how the training program is going, and if they need anything else to make things more fruitful for them. If the person is having a few challenges, remind them that you are here for their support, and that they are not alone in this. Just a gentle reminder that you are here for them can go a very long way in making them feel that they are part of something bigger. It also helps to remind them of what you discussed in the first two steps. Sometimes when we start focussing on one thing, we may lose sight of the bigger picture. This is where you should remind them of the bigger picture – what lies ahead, what has to be done, and what positive outcomes to expect. It is amazing what a difference it makes to people who have someone supporting them. In my coaching career, I used to say “I give you the gift of four words – I believe in you” to my clients who were working hard to achieve their goals.

When it comes to supporting other people in becoming more productive and positive, my suggestion to anyone is “To bring out the best in others, you have to bring out the best in you!”

In summary, help them in awakening what lies inside them, support them in developing themselves, and keep encouraging them.

Quote: “The best way to inspire people to superior performance is to convince them by everything you do and by your everyday attitude that you are wholeheartedly supporting them.” Harold S. Green

I hope that I have given you a simple insight into supporting people in being at their best.

 Inspiring you towards your excellence,

Ron Prasad (Author, Speaker, & Coach)