I have a cat. I love my cat. Like any good cat owner/mom/friend I want to take good care of my little kitty and provide her with all the best cat stuff there is to be had. And I don’t even mind putting up with the stinky littler box. It’s a small price to pay for all the love and cuddles I get from my baby! So, yesterday when I went to the market to buy her more litter for her box, I had to pause and contemplate just what the deal is with all the shelves full of litter box filler choices. Evidently there is quite a science to kitty litter. I can get regular, organic, environmentally friendly, dust-free, scoopable, clumpable, even one for multiple cats. And when it comes to odor control I have the choice of “Immediate odor control” or “Long lasting odor control.” Excuse me, but I want BOTH! All this technology, all this shelf space taken up in the grocery store and I have to choose whether to put up with the smell now or later? Hmmm… I’ll have to think about that one. I don’t think my kitty cat minds one way or the other. ]]>

ASC is the American Society of Cinematographers:

Feature Film: Emmanuel Lubezki for Gravity

Spotlight Award: Lukasz Zal and Ryszard Lenczewski for Ida

Half-Hour Episodic Series: Blake McClure for Comedy Central’s Drunk History (“Detroit”)

Career Achievement in Television Award: Richard Rawlings Jr. (Charlie’s Angels, L.A. Law, Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives)

ASC Bud Stone Award of Distinction: Beverly Wood for her work with the ASC.

TV Movie/Miniseries: Jeremy Benning for National Geographic Channel’s Killing Lincoln

International Achievement Award: Eduardo Serra (Girl With The Pearl Earring, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 and 2, Blood Diamond, Unbreakable)

Board of Governors Award: John Wells (August: Osage County, ER, The West Wing, Southland)

One-Hour Episodic Television Series: Jonathan Freeman for HBO’s Game of Thrones (“Valar Dohaeris”)

Lifetime Achievement Award: Dean Cundey (Halloween, The Fog, Escape from New York, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Back to the Future trilogy, Apollo 13)

One of the most interesting relationships we encounter in this lifetime is the relationship between siblings.  As we are living longer than ever before, chances are that this relationship is the one that lasts the longest in our lives.  Studies show that sister are more likely to keep in contact than brothers, and brother-sister combos fall somewhere in the middle.  What keeps us bonded with our siblings into adulthood? A number of factors are involved.  One theory says that it’s the way the parent guides the kids to be kind and helpful towards one another when they are young.  Another theory is that siblings feel comfortable in attached relationships.  They are familiar with one another, and feel badly when separated.  How closely the siblings live to one another also comes into play.  Those who live closer have more contact. 

Sibling relationships change over time.  Typically there is more closeness and more involvement when we are younger, and that gradually decreases in early adulthood. But then we find that closeness again as we get settled and start to get older.  Sibling rivalry decreases and feelings of closeness increase with age.  One study found that older people with living siblings, especially sisters, have a higher morale, and are more emotionally secure. Siblings rely on each other more and more for support as they age.

I remember having a wonderful conversation with Deepak Chopra’s mother when we were both at the Chopra Center in 1998.  I have two boys myself, so we have this in common, and we spoke heart to heart as mothers.  I asked her what her secret was, how she raised two amazing, successful, big-hearted sons.  She said to me, “It was all God.”  I admired her humbleness, and knew she really had everything to do with it.  Children follow the example of their parents, and this kind, beautiful woman certainly was a demonstration of love and family and created a loving, supportive home for her two boys so that they could go out into the world and share the lessons they learned from her.

Deepak Chopra has written a new book with his brother Sanjiv titled: Brotherhood: Dharma, Destiny, and the American Dream. The inspiring story of two brothers who immigrated to America from India and took very different paths to becoming world-renowned healers and teachers. 

At a time when America is fiercely divided on the issue of immigration, Brotherhood tells the story of two brothers who pursued the American dream to its fullest expression. In the early 1970s, Deepak and Sanjiv Chopra joined a flood of immigrants looking to make a new life in America, a land of opportunity. Having grown up in postwar India amidst the sudden freedom of the 1947 liberation, their childhood was a blend of the exotic, the mythical, and the modern. Their father was one of the first Indians to become a Western-trained cardiologist, while their extended family maintained deep roots in ancient spiritual traditions.

Brotherhood follows the Chopra brothers as one becomes a world-renowned spiritual teacher and the other rises to the top of Western medicine to become a professor at Harvard Medical School. Their story will fascinate and inspire anyone who still believes in America’s capacity to foster achievement and reward hard work.

New Day, New Decade

2011 is well under way.  Not only is this a new year, it’s a new decade!  We had our grand finale, wrapping up 2010 with the solstice and coinciding full moon and lunar eclipse, bringing change and a shift in energy.  And now, January 4 welcomes a new moon, signaling new beginnings.

Many of us choose to set New Year’s resolutions, goals that we work towards to better ourselves in one way or another.  This is a good exercise, as it helps us to consider what we want for ourselves, and how we can take action to make things happen.

Of course, we can set goals at any time.  Many people choose their birthdays to do this because it’s a time of reflection.  You might also choose any new moon, or the beginning of any season.  These are all natural times to invoke change.

We know the importance of setting goals, and we know how good it feels when we reach those goals.  But at the same time, we need to remember that each step is an important part of the process.  We need to recognize this, and understand that we are moving forward.  This will keep us invested in the long run.  Breaking down “big” goals into more easily achievable steps is a good way to mark our progress.  We are learning and growing every day.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by looking at our goals and our desires.  There’s a reason why we want what we want.  And we wouldn’t want it if it weren’t attainable.  We learn and grow on the way to our goals.

Desire is our greatest motivator because it spurs us into action! Through action comes experience, achievement, accomplishment, and many great things.  We are busy fulfilling our desires everyday, and sometimes so easily that we aren’t even aware of what we are doing.  So, when setting your resolution, or goal, look at your desires first.  These are the steps you can take to get things going:

1. Recognize that you have this desire.  Label it.  Define it.  Know it.

2. Evaluate the desire – do you REALLY want it?  What is it exactly that you really want?  Explain it to yourself.  Make sure that it makes sense to you, and that you understand why you want this, and what it means to you to achieve this goal.

3. Create an intention to fulfill the desire, to reach your goal.  Make that commitment.  Set this as a priority in your life.

4. Release the desire to the universe – state your intention clearly.  It’s a good idea to write it down, and then burn the piece of paper, or file it away somewhere with the date on it.

5. Give up any attachment to what happens.  Just let it go, knowing anything can happen, the outcome is usually better than we ever could have anticipated. In spirit, there is no time or space. Be flexible, be open, and observe how things unfold. 

6. Let the universe handle the details – don’t try to control or manipulate how things occur. Rather than making demands, leave room to allow nature to take its course in whatever way, shape, or form that might be.  There’s always some reason behind everything that happens, so have a little faith that work is being done even if you don’t see it.  Know that creation and growth takes place every moment.

7. Feel grateful, and express gratitude!  Your emotions electrify the process.

8. Be aware of things that happen that may help you to achieve your goal.  There are no accidents, and no coincidences in life.  When opportunities arise, be ready to embrace them.

9. Celebrate every success and let it build your confidence and warm your heart.  Continue to express gratitude all along the way.

Happy new day, happy new year, happy new decade!

Before we start a new year, I think it’s important to reflect back on the year that has passed, and the lessons we have learned during this time. 2006 was a year that I will always remember.  It was a difficult year, one of the most difficult I’ve ever been through.  But through the challenges I’ve grown, and mellowed.  I have a newfound perspective that I couldn’t have achieved any other way. I met my friend Fred back in 1980.  I had just gotten a job as a Page at ABC Entertainment and Fred was one of the first people to make me feel welcome.  He showed me the ropes, and quickly became one of my closest friends.  In 1983 I got married and Fred was at the wedding.  When I had my first son, named Freddy after his great grandfather, Fred was touched that the baby shared his name.  Fred’s mother would babysit little Freddy for me when I took classes.  When my sister moved to Los Angeles I introduced her to Fred, and romance bloomed.  Marci and Fred were married soon after that, and Fred was now officially family. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time, and my son Brian, and Marci’s son Arthur, were both born in 1989.  Our prayers were answered when we finally got a little girl in the family with Marci’s daughter Emma in 1991, with Freddy off at school, the three little cousins spent time at our mother’s house while Marci and I worked together getting my business off the ground.  These were very sweet times, and our families were very close. When the kids started school and Marci went back to work full time, we didn’t get to see each other as often.  But as family, we shared all the life moments, and remained an important part of each other’s lives.  Marci and Fred were there for me when I went through my divorce, and they celebrated with me when Greg and I got married. Fast forward to January of 2006.  The day started out like any other, but phoned me in the morning asking me to “stand by” because Fred had been taken to the hospital.  She didn’t know what was wrong, but it was serious.  The plan was that the kids would go to school, and I’d be there for them when they got home and hopefully we’d know more by then.  Unfortunately nothing that we found out was good.  Fred was diagnosed with an dissected aortic aneurism.  He was helicoptered to Cedars-Sinai Hospital and rushed into emergency surgery.  We were told that this was the same condition that John Ritter died from.  It’s genetic, and for the most part people don’t even know they have it until it’s too late. That was the beginning of three weeks of heavy emotions.  We were never sure if Fred would live or die, if he would walk or not, or what further challenges he would have to endure if he did make it out of the hospital.  Each day was excruciating, with tests, procedures, more surgeries, and more uncertainties.  We cried, and prayed, and hoped, and played music for Fred and talked with him.  I’m still not sure if he ever was truly aware that we were there, he was not conscious most of the time.  Friends and family rallied around.  Many came to give blood, some brought food, or took Marci to lunch.  It was very clear that Fred was loved, and everyone he knew was deeply concerned. Fred’s mother and brother were visibly distraught.  My heart would break for them.  For those three weeks it was as if time stood still.  Nothing else mattered, nothing else happened.  It was so overwhelming and all consuming. Finally the doctors agreed that nothing more could be done, and Fred passed away. Marci and I spent the next few days making funeral arrangements.  There was a moment when we were at the funeral parlor and we just looked at each other, wondering how we got to this place.  This isn’t something you could ever anticipate, or prepare for.  This isn’t something you get over.  More than 900 people attended the service, and Marci gave an eloquent eulogy.  She looked poised and peaceful, but I knew she was falling apart inside.  We had three weeks  to get ready, to say goodbye, to make sense of things, but there were no answers, no resolution.  And we knew that there might never be. A few weeks went by and we did our best to get back to some kind of a routine.  So much had changed but we had to keep going.  Just when I thought I was starting to handle things again, I got a call from my dad’s girlfriend.  She had never called me before, so I knew something was wrong.  She told me that my dad was lying on the floor and that he couldn’t get up.  I told her to call 911, but she said my dad wouldn’t let her, so Greg and I rushed out the door to see for ourselves what had happened.  I called my brother and he said he’d meet us there. When we got to my dad’s place the door was open, and I found my dad lying down on a cushion on his bedroom floor.  He was coherent, and he said he was just resting, but it was clear that he couldn’t get up.  Even Greg and my brother couldn’t lift him, so despite my dad’s protests, we called 911.  A fire engine and a paramedic and a police car arrived at the same time – all the hoopla that my dad hates.  The guys are used to dealing with stubborn old men who insist nothing is wrong with them, so they were able to convince my dad to go with them to the hospital.  Turns out he had a stroke. Although my dad was coherent and aware that first night, the next three days he was entirely out of it, which I learned is typical for people who have a stroke.  I’ve never seen my father so helpless, so weak.  It was awful.  He didn’t know where he was, and he kept trying to get out of bed and he’d fall down.  They had to strap him to the hospital bed to keep him still. Being back in the hospital made all the emotional wounds feel still fresh.  I was amazed and in awe at how strong the spirit can be.  As hard as it was, we got through it.  My sister and I had always been close, but the experience with Fred brought us even closer together.  And now with all this going on with my dad, the three of us kids, my brother and sister and I, were really there for each other.  We had to make big decisions about how to handle my dad’s care.  With a stroke you really don’t know until months later how the person is going to heal.  So many things can happen.  We knew for sure that we didn’t want him living alone anymore, so we would have to go out and research places for him to move to. Of course amidst all of this I’m still working and managing life in general, and one night I’m at Brian’s volleyball game, carrying purse and jacket and baby gift for the coach and I trip in the bleachers.  I knew I hurt my foot badly because I was in terrible pain, but this was the big game and I stuck it out until it was over.  By that time my foot had swollen up twice its size.  A nice dad and Brian helped me to the car, Brian got me home, and Greg took me to the emergency room.  Yep, x-rays showed the foot was broken.  The right foot.  Couldn’t drive for six weeks. My brother and sister drove me around as we toured retirement living places, and I hobbled around on crutches.  My dad was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital and Greg drove me there every day so I could visit my dad and talk with his doctors.  When I graduated to a cane we decided on an Assisted Living Faciliity near my dad’s home, and we all moved his stuff over.  I overdid it walking around so much and sprained my left ankle, so I basically was stuck sliding around on my butt for the next few weeks. My body healed, but it took longer for my mind and emotions to heal.  I went through a kind of post traumatic shock syndrome.  Old emotional stuff from the divorce came up, I just felt like I had so much to deal with all at once.  But again, the spirit is resilient, I made it through, stronger than ever. And thankfully, my dad recovered 100%.  He’s as strong and ornery as he ever was!  I drove him around to his doctor’s appointments for awhile, but now he’s comfortable taking the shuttle at his place so he goes on his own. The second half of the year I worked a lot.  Helped establish the Online Peace Cell and co-produced a Celebration of Peace.  Did The Today Show twice, and MSNBC News twice, and went to NY twice for Satellite Media Tours.  And Greg and I went to Australia for his son Ryan’s graduation from the police academy.  On the homefront, I helped Brian with his college applications, and had a lot of fun helping out during Homecoming week at his school. So what will 2007 bring?  I have no idea!  I know what I would like to have happen, but I don’t know for sure what the Universe has in store for me.  I’ll just take each day as it comes, going about my business, setting intentions, taking action, and then letting go of all of it because anything can happen, good, bad, tragic, wonderful – and whatever happens I know it’s all going to be okay.  Because it just is.
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