Tom Cruise is in the news again. If you haven’t heard, he’s got a new girlfriend, the much-younger Katie Holmes. They each have a blockbuster movie coming out this summer, so the publicity can’t hurt either of them. If Tom would just stick to promoting his movie and enthusing about his newfound love life, I wouldn’t have any complaint with him. I mean, live and let live, right? But Tom is imposing his opinions, beliefs, misinformed judgments or whatever else you want to call them, all over the place. His target? Actress and now author, Brooke Shields. Brooke has just written a book chronicling her battle with post-partum depression. I applaud Brooke for her honest and straight-forward account of this debilitating condition that so many women go through without even knowing what it is. After her child was born, this usually easy-going, productive, intelligent woman fell into the depths of despair. She couldn’t function, and questioned her very existence. So after much research, she finally took her doctor’s advice and went on an anti-depressant medication. It was enough to get her over the hump and it very likely saved her life. So why would Tom Cruise, who as far as we all know has never given birth, never suffered from depression, and is not a medical doctor, condemn Brooke’s very personal decision? Because he’s a Scientologist. And Scientologists don’t believe in “mind altering” medications. He has said in the press that there is “no science” to prove that anti-depressants are effective. According to Tom, Brooke could have cured her depression with vitamins and exercise. Hello? Tom, have you ever heard of a PET scan? Is that not science enough for you? Puh-leez! Do some research! Better yet, have some compassion. I’m the first one to get on board with any kind of natural remedy. I wrote a book “The Healthy Family Handbook: Natural Remedies for Parents and Children.” But I also know that there are certain things that western science can do that nothing else can. If someone were facing surgery, say they needed a tumor taken out to relieve excruciating pain, would Tom suggest that they take a vitamin and walk around the block instead? Physical pain is no different than emotional pain. One starts in the body, the other starts in the brain. The mind and body are intricately linked. God made man, and made us intelligent, and intelligence made anti-depressants, so to me those medications are no less from God than vitamins. Taken in the right circumstances, under a doctor’s care, they can help people. And they certainly were able to help Brooke Shields. Who is Tom to argue with that? Who is he to judge? He is certainly entitled to make his own decisions, for himself, but to judge another person as he did is not only cruel, it’s criminal. Will some other woman going through post-partum depression feel guilty taking her doctor’s advice and instead of taking necessary medication, take a vitamin? Why should she suffer for Tom’s arrogance? Tom may play the hero in the movies, but in this instance, he’s playing the villain – the ignorant, self-important, destructive bad guy.

There is an old saying that says: “Make new friends, and keep the old.  One is silver, the other is gold.” Life is all about relationships.  We have a relationship with the environment, with our work, with our home, and especially with the people in our lives.  Earth Month gives us an opportunity to look at how we can make things last, to best maximize the resources we have.  It takes a lot of energy to develop a friendship.  A friendship is an investment of our time and emotions.  And we benefit from having these people in our lives in countless ways.  How can we best sustain our relationships, given the overwhelming obligations that we face on a daily basis?  Here are a few tips: -Be available.  Sure, you’ve got an e-mail, cell-phone and facebook page.  But can your friends really reach you?  Sometimes we’re so bogged down by technology that we forget the reasons we got started on it in the first place.  We can get our social networking “friends” mixed up with our true friends, the ones who want to be there for us no matter what our status update says.  So, when a friend is moving, reach out and offer to help.  If a friend is going through a hard time, go over and hold her hand.  Take him our to dinner and let him talk.  Let your friends know that you are there for them, with your actions, as well as your words. -Be honest.  Honesty is the most important key to making any relationship work, and last.  Always tell the truth.  It’s that simple.  Honesty, integrity, authenticity, and trust – they all go hand in hand.  Do what you say you are going to do.  Show up when expected.  There is no need to judge or criticize, allow your friend to be himself, as they allow you to be yourself.  -Be present.  When you are with your friends, really be with your friends.  Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by your iPhone or anything that is happening outside of the present moment.  Listen, and respond.  Make this time together your priority.  Enjoy your friendship, relax and be yourself. -Be in touch.  Check in with your friends.  Ask how they are doing.  Know what is happening in their lives.  Invite people over.  Connect.  Years go by really quickly, and before you know it, friendships fade away.  Take just a moment to touch base with your friends and let them know that you appreciate them.  Show this person in your life how wonderful they are, and much they mean to you.  Send birthday cards, make phone calls, and write thank you notes.  Share photos online, and stay involved even from afar. -Be mindful.  If a relationship is draining you, if it no longer serves you, or makes you feel bad, then it’s time to walk away.  Relationships should be healthy, and make you feel good.  The best friendships nurture your spirit.  So if a relationship is toxic, then follow the environmental tip and “reduce” it from your life.  Remember that your first relationship is with yourself.  Be true to yourself.

November 4. This will always be such an important day in my life. This is the day my first child was born. I remember the day so well. And that day my life changed more than it ever has. Freddy has taught me so much. He was never an “easy” kid. He challenges me at every turn. I have learned more about patience, and acceptance, and unconditional love than I ever thought possible. Being Freddy’s mom has made me grow, and become more of who I am. I remember the days of Ninja Turtles, of Power Rangers, of X-Men. I remember the play-dates, the birthday parties, the favorite socks. There were struggles, and there were triumphs. And I can honestly say that we have never been bored! Now my baby has become an adult. This is his 18th birthday. Though Freddy’s childhood may be coming to an end, my motherhood continues. My role will change, as it should, but I will always be Freddy’s mom. Now instead of action figures, Freddy is collecting college applications. Freddy is making his own “Mac N Cheese” and I’m sending him quarters for his laundry. Freddy is still blazing the trail for all of us in the family. He was the first child, first grandchild, first cousin, and now he’s the first adult of this new generation. We’re all getting used to the idea, because the other kids are following close behind! ]]>