A few months ago, Greg called me into the backyard to help solve a mystery.  Our lawn was torn up, kind of rolled up in patches.  How could this have happened?   It was so strange – something I’d never seen before.  It didn’t look like a vandal, or something human – we had considered an alien invasion but thought better of it.  A quick search online suggested that possibly it was a raccoon invasion.  Since we have had raccoons in our backyard before, that explanation made sense.  It seems that the raccoons roll up the sod looking for little grubs to eat.  These grubs are not usually there, so the lawn is generally left alone – but somehow the raccoons know when they are there, and then they feast.

 So, to get rid of the raccoons, sites suggest you get rid of the grubs.  And that means all kinds of nasty chemicals.  No, not for us.  Poisons can go straight from our lawn to the lake, hurting our wildlife.  We decided to take our chances and hope that the raccoons would run out of food and move on to another lawn.  No such luck.  It only got worse.  We kept researching.

Finally, Greg came upon a natural solution: Cayenne pepper!  It seems a little spice mixed into the buffet would turn the raccoons away.  Ah!  Sounded good to me, red pepper can’t hurt animals, just maybe enough them enough to take their interest away from our lawn.  It is an inexpensive remedy, too – I went to the grocery store and got a bottle of the cheapest cayenne, came back home and sprinkled away.  Quite colorful, the green grass and the hot red pepper.  And so far, it seems to be working!  I’ll keep you posted.

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Sleeping together is an important way for couples to feel connected to one another. While many partners can live happily together; they just can’t sleep well side by side. Research from the Better Sleep Council (BSC) found that on average, one in three Americans report that their partner’s sleep problems negatively impact their own quality of sleep. If your partner’s sleep style has you headed for a separate room, relationship expert Lissa Coffey and the Better Sleep Council have some tips that just might bring harmony back to the bedroom and into your relationship. 1.    Problem:  Your partner kicks in his or her sleep, waking you up.
Solution:  Make sure your bed gives each person adequate sleep surface. If you are sharing a double (full–size) mattress, that only gives each person as much room as sleeping in a crib! Couples should share a mattress no smaller than queen-size. 2.    Problem:  Your partner likes it hot, but you like it cool.
Solution:  Temperature is a major issue in many relationships. Ideally, your bedroom should be a cool 60–65 degrees Fahrenheit. But a few simple adjustments can make it possible for a person who craves heat and a person who craves cool to sleep side by side comfortably.
�    Double fold the blankets so there is more coverage on one side.
�    Invest in a dual-control electric blanket or a twin-size electric blanket for one side. 3.    Problem:  Your partner snores, keeping you up at night.
Solution:  Snoring can be a serious health concern, so make sure to consult your physician. If your partner’s snoring is not a serious health condition, try alternative treatments like investing in anti-snore pillows, sprays or nasal strips that are designed to help people breathe more easily. If your partner’s snoring persists, try foam earplugs before you try a different room. 4.    Problem:  Your partner tosses and turns.
Solution:  It may be your mattress. If your mattress is uncomfortable, it can lead to restless sleep. Mattresses should be evaluated every five to seven years for comfort and support. 5.    Problem:  Your partner loves to cuddle, but you like your space while you sleep.
Solution:  Compromise. Before falling asleep spend some time snuggling together and then agree to sleep apart.  6.    Problem:  Your sleep schedules don’t match.
Solution:  Try finding a bedtime that works for both of you. If your partner turns in early and you’re a night owl, try reading a book with a personal book lamp until you’re ready to nod off. If you’re an early riser compared to your sleep partner, be considerate in the early morning. Keep overhead lights off and use minimal lighting while your partner is sleeping. 7.    Problem:  Your bedroom feels more like an office than a place to sleep.
Solution:  Your bedroom should only be used for sleep and sex. Keep work, laptops, PDAs and televisions out of the bedroom. This creates a much more relaxing and romantic atmosphere, and will give you both a better night’s sleep. BetterSleep.org

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This is an interesting time of year the week between Christmas and New Year’s.  It seems on the surface that not much is happening. Work is slow, the freeways aren’t as crowded because people are on vacation.  But underneath the surface a lot of activity is taking place.  We’re preparing ourselves for the New Year. We’re taking down the decorations, getting organized, and coming up with our goals and resolutions.  This is a creative time – in Ayurveda this is Vata season.

We see it on a global scale.  We have elected a new president, but he hasn’t taken office yet.  He’s busy planning and preparing, choosing his cabinet, figuring out just how to get things done.  And we see it in nature, too.  Trees shed their leaves in preparation for a new Spring.

In life, we can’t be in two places at the same time.  We can’t keep both feet on the ground and expect to go anywhere.  If we want to take that leap of faith, and really make changes in our lives, then both feet have to leave the ground.  How can we do this?  We need to release.  We need to let go. 

Today I led the service at a church, and instead of the traditional “burning bowl” ceremony, we put the “ancient wisdom, modern style” CoffeyTalk twist on it.  We wrote down what we wanted to release, and then put the papers through a shredder!  This is the prayer I wrote for releasing.  Enjoy, and take it to heart.  I love you!  Happy New Year!

Dear God, Sweet Spirit,

Knowing that all is one and I am one with all that is –
I recognize that certain habits, or thought patterns, or misconceptions
No longer serve me, no longer contribute to my greatest good.
I choose, here and now, to release any and all
judgments, anger, guilt, or self-destructive behaviors.
I choose to let go of pain, and heartache, to let go of resentment and blame.
I choose to unburden myself of any heaviness that is weighing me down.
I choose to leave behind any pettiness of the past.
I choose to relinquish control, to let You,
the guiding light of the Universe, in Your infinite Wisdom,
take care of the details of my life. I choose to open the door, to clear out the clutter, in my life and in my mind and to make room for
All that is offered to me.
I choose to let go completely – and let GOD! I choose, right here and now, to give up the struggle.
I choose, right here and now to release all my fears, all my doubts, any falsehoods that are holding me back from knowing and experiencing and celebrating all that I am. I choose to get with the program, to embrace the
Trust and Faith, and Health, and Light, and Truth, and Opportunity, and Love and Prosperity and Wholeness
That right here and now runs in and around and through each and every one of us.  This is who I am.
And I am truly grateful. I now release and let go of anything that contradicts this fact.  Whatever it is, I let it go.  Happily, with grace and ease, and forever. And so it is, Baby – and so it absolutely is!
Amen!

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Got this little blurb today: “‘Tis the season for making whoopee. The Christmas-New Year’s period produces a year-high spike in sexual activity and conceptions in the United States according to biorhythm researchers and makers of sex-related products. They attribute the increase to holiday leisure and New Year’s resolutions to have children. New Year’s irresolution fueled by alcohol and partying is another contributing factor.”

Maybe it’s also the cold weather making us seek body heat.  Maybe it’s also not wanting to feel alone during this time of year when so much focus is on family.  And maybe it’s just that mistletoe!  The holiday season seems to be an aphrodisiac.  Mommy kisses Santa Claus.  Baby, it’s cold outside.  The scent of cinnamon is known to produce an increase in male hormones. The fireplace is lit, and gives the complexion a healthy glow.  We have time to pay attention to each other.  All the elements are there for a season of seduction.  Kind of puts a new spin on getting in the holiday spirit!  Who could be a Grinch when covered in kisses?

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I read a commentary yesterday from someone who said that bailing out the auto industry is like investing in CDs when the rest of the world has moved on to downloads and iPods.  It’s a waste of money.  What we should be investing in is alternative modes of energy and transportation.  I agree.  The auto makers got themselves into this mess why do we have to get them out?  We need a new dynamic, not more of the same problems that got us into this situation.

I’m a member of the Author’s Guild, and I got an e-mail from the Guild this morning that I would like to share with you.  It is interesting, though not surprising, how the financial crisis has hit every sector of business:

<"I've been talking to booksellers lately who report that times are hard. And local booksellers aren't known for vast reserves of capital, so a serious dip in sales can be devastating. Booksellers don't lose enough money, however, to receive congressional attention. A government bailout isn't in the cards. We don’t want bookstores to die. Authors need them, and so do neighborhoods. So let’s mount a book-buying splurge. Get your friends together, go to your local bookstore and have a book-buying party. Buy the rest of your Christmas presents, but that’s just for starters. Clear out the mysteries, wrap up the histories, beam up the science fiction! Round up the westerns, go crazy for self-help, say yes to the university press books! Get a load of those coffee-table books, fatten up on slim volumes of verse, and take a chance on romance! There will be birthdays in the next twelve months; books keep well; they’re easy to wrap: buy those books now. Buy replacements for any books looking raggedy on your shelves.  Stockpile children’s books as gifts for friends who look like they may eventually give birth. Hold off on the flat-screen TV and the GPS (they’ll be cheaper after Christmas) and buy many, many books. Then tell the grateful booksellers, who by this time will be hanging onto your legs begging you to stay and live with their cat in the stockroom: “Got to move on, folks. Got some books to write now. You see…we’re the Authors Guild.” Enjoy the holidays. Roy Blount Jr.
President
Authors Guild> ]]>

After Thanksgiving and spending time with the family, we tend to look back with fondness and note just how crazy our clan really is.  It’s okay to admit it, it’s true for everyone.  I mean, there really is no “normal” anymore.  Is there any family that hasn’t been affected by dysfunction?  I don’t think so.  We could sulk about it, but it’s better to just laugh.  We’ve got in-laws and out-laws, steps and sibs, and the assorted characters and cousins who come by for whatever libations are being served.  Go ahead and join them, just don’t overindulge. There is a serious side to this.  A study from Columbia University came out today that says that almost one in five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life.  Even more alarming is that the numbers were greater for those who abuse alcohol or drugs.  But the biggest issue is that there is a widespread lack of treatment in the 19 to 25 year age group.  Hopefully this study will raise awareness and get young people to seek help.  It is important to have accessible mental health services along with other medical services on college campuses.  And it is important that insurance carriers routinely cover mental health services.  Imagine if 20-25% of the population had an untreated physical problem, like diabetes.  And yet, various forms of mental illness are affecting families all over the place and we don’t have the resources or means to get help. So here we are, coming up on Christmas, when the whole crazy bunch will be gathered together again.  What can we do?  We can’t solve everyone’s problems, but if we suspect that there’s an issue, we can be informed and offer guidance.  And just love them.  And be aware.  Let them talk, let them know that there’s a place for them where they are loved.  That’s what family is all about.

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Friday night is date night for my hubby and me.  We go out to dinner, relax, talk, and usually see a movie.  As you can tell from the number of movie reviews on my site, this has been a long-standing tradition.  But this Friday night was different.  We chose to stay home and watch the first presidential debate on TV. We sent out for Chinese food, opened a bottle of wine, and eagerly awaited the first question.  Obama waved to the crowd, a big smile on his face, and approached McCain with an open hand.  The two went to their respective podiums, while Jim Lehr summarized the rules.  The debate was on. Given the current economic situation, and the pending probable bailout, the subject was bound to turn to the economy.  But the scheduled topic was foreign affairs, so that was a huge issue as well.  It didn�t take long before I was practically yelling at the television.  Jim Lehr kept telling both of the candidates to talk to each other, and yet McCain refused to even LOOK at Obama.  It was rude, and disrespectful.  I felt that Obama was being respectful to McCain, acknowledging where his opponent was �right� before making his point and sometimes correcting McCain.  But McCain was disdainful, and condescending to Obama.  Several times he said: �Senator Obama doesn�t understand.�  Or that he is �na�ve.�  I just wanted Jim Lehr give him a lecture in basic etiquette. Obama handled the whole thing with dignity and grace.  That�s the kind of attitude and demeanor we need in the leader of this country.  We don�t need some hot-head who won�t listen, who does what he wants without input from others, and who is easily angered and irritated.  McCain can�t even get along with the other people in his own party (except for Bush, of course, whom he has supported more than 90% of the time) so how is he going to get along with other people in positions of leadership to make good decisions?  In the debate he said that when he looks into Putin�s eyes he sees the letters �K G B.�  How can he have a rational conversation when he�s thinking combatively? So much is said during the debates, but even more is revealed between the lines.  At the end of the debate, Barack and Michelle Obama approached John and Cindy McCain to shake hands.  I think good manners say a lot about a person. After the debate, NBC had Joe Biden give commentary about how he thought the debate went.  Wow!  The Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee!  He talked about how well Obama did, and was generally pleasant.  Then for the Republicans, since Sarah Palin �refused� the invitation to appear, Rudy Guiliani was to give his commentary.  He didn�t talk about how great McCain did, he talked about how bad he thought Obama did!  Again, snarky and rude behavior.  And where was Palin anyway?  What could be more important that commenting on the first presidential debate and supporting her running mate.  The Republicans evidently have her sequestered and she�s not allowed to speak to the press.  That pretty much tells me that even they don�t feel she is qualified to be on the ticket, and that she doesn�t have anything intelligent to say. I�m just glad the Vice Presidential debate is on Thursday night.  I wouldn�t want to give up another Friday date night just to be stressed out all over again.

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