13 Jun

Treating Children Fairly Does Not Necessarily Mean Equally

Manya Deva Natan
Manya Deva Natan is a California Bar Certified attorney with the law firm of SSS Legal & Consultancy Services located in Calabasas, CA. Her practice focuses on International Estates, Trusts and Estates, Asset Protection, Trust Administration, and more. Manya received her law degree from Stanford University, as well as a Master's in International Affairs from Columbia University. She has completed extensive course-work and training in the areas of mental, physical, and emotional health, including being a published author. She is the founder of two publishing-based companies related to health and wellness and has particular interest in the legal and financial components of health and their importance in integrated health. She has appeared multiple times on Good Morning America and is regularly contacted by national media outlets for commentary.
Manya Deva Natan

6a01b8d0a6271d970c01bb0870d148970d-500piMost parents want to treat their children fairly in their estate planning, and many assume that means having their children inherit equally. But fair does not necessarily mean equal. There may be special circumstances to consider.


For example, parents may want to provide more to a child who struggles to support his family on a modest income than to a child who is financially successful and has decided not to have children. Many feel it is fair to provide extra compensation to a child who has given up part of his/her own life to help with a parent’s care. Younger children will need care longer than grown children, and a child with special needs will need care for life. Often, one child will join the family business and other children will not; instead of making them all equal owners in the business, it may be more appropriate to leave the business to the one who has shown an interest and compensate the others with other assets and/or life insurance.


Not only do parents need to decide how much each child should receive, but also when they will receive it—and that can be different for each one, too. Inheritances can be distributed in one lump sum or in installments, or an inheritance can stay in a trust. Parents should consider how much the inheritance is, children’s ages and family situations, how they have handled their own money, and how much they need the inheritance. For example, children who are much older (say, in their 60s) and have shown responsibility with their own money may be fine with inheriting one lump sum. An adult child who is struggling to buy a home may appreciate at least a partial immediate distribution, with the rest later. Younger adult children may benefit from inheriting in installments to allow several chances to become responsible with money.


Many parents decide to keep the money in a trust for their children. That’s because assets that stay in the trust are protected from irresponsible spending, creditors (bankruptcy and divorce), and predators (those with undue influence on a child). The trustee can still make periodic distributions based on guidelines provided in the trust document. This can be a good solution when a child is irresponsible with money or has dependency issues; there is concern that a current or future marriage might end in divorce and the parents want to protect the inheritance from being part of a divorce settlement; or there is a concern that the inheritance may be exposed to future lawsuits or creditors of the children.


If you can afford it, you may want to consider giving your children some of their inheritance now so you can see the results of your gifts now. Seeing your children buy a home, start a business or be able to stay at home and raise your grandchildren or seeing the grandchildren go to college, and knowing this may not have happened without your help, can be very heartwarming. Also, gifts made now will reduce the amount of estate taxes that may be due at your death.


Most parents want to leave their children enough that they can do anything they want, but not so much that they will do nothing at all. You don’t have to leave everything to your children. If you have sizeable assets, you can set up trusts for your grandchildren and future generations and/or make contributions to charitable, educational and religious organizations.

Share this