31 Aug

The Science of Attraction

Lissa Coffey

Lissa Coffey

Lissa Coffey

Some might call it chemistry.  It’s that certain something about someone that causes us to look more closely, for our heart to skip a beat, or to get those butterflies going.  Why does this happen with one person and not another?  There is a science to attraction, and you might be surprised at how some of it shows up.

-Scent.  It’s a kind of primal instinct – to be attracted to someone we have to like the way they smell.  This is built into our biology so that we choose a mate who will be faithful and help us to produce healthy offspring.  I guess you could say the nose knows and will lead us in the right direction.

-Voice.  Generally, men prefer higher voices in women and women prefer deeper voices in men.  It’s kind of a hormonal thing.  Voice tends to be an indicator fertility, health and attractiveness.  By improving our voice, with practice or with vocal lessons, we can enhance how our looks are perceived.

-State of Mind.  Our own mood affects how we see another person.  If we’re bummed out, we won’t notice even the most charming person.  What attracts us is when someone sees us as we want to be seen.  We like when feel that we are our best self, when someone else “gets” us.

-Matching Stature.  People are generally attracted to those whom they feel are at the same level of attractiveness as they are.  For example, someone who rates himself a 7 on an attractiveness scale will mostly likely be attracted to someone he would also rate as a 7.  We tend to wind up with partners who share our size and similar build.  We also tend to be attracted to people who share a similar social stature.  This is because we feel they’ll share our interests and opinions, and validate our choices and values.

-Confidence.  We are attracted to people to both feel and look confident.  People who have good posture, who speak up, and who are interested in other people, all exude a confidence that we are naturally drawn to.  We are also attracted to the person who smiles, and has a good sense of humor.  Women are more discriminating when it comes to humor and jokesters, while men value humor appreciation, which they see as an indicator of sexual receptivity.  Laughing together is one of the best ways to promote marital bliss.

The Evolution of Desire on amazon


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