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31 Dec

Zen and the Art of Grocery Shopping

It happens at least once a week, the ritual trek to the local grocery store.  We need food, we need supplies, we are creatures whose needs must be met, and this is how we do it.  It’s more convenient than growing our own vegetables, or baking our own bread.  And although we may not get the same satisfaction that our ancestors did by working the land, we are in a sense doing our own harvesting by what we choose, and how we shop, at the supermarket.

Here are some ways that we can get the most out of the experience, and turn what could possibly be mundane into something rather special and spiritual.  This is how we can “bloom where we are planted” even if that happens to be in the middle of suburbia.

Bring your own bags.  This seems like such a simple thing to do, and yet when you look around at the other shoppers, how many people actually do it?  In Europe there is not the option of “paper or plastic.”  You bring your own bag or you carry your purchases out in your arms.  We did an informal survey recently in front of our neighborhood market, and found that although most people thought this was a good idea, they hadn’t gotten themselves in the habit.  Make this conscious choice.  Carry your bags in your car so they are there for you when you need them.  It’s one little contribution towards making the world a better place.

After you park, if you see a stray cart in the lot, take it with you into the store.  Many carts are left loose in the parking lot only to bump into cars, or block the way as someone is trying to open their car door.  Returning a cart is being a good citizen, and also setting a good example.

Many stores have now been kind enough to provide anti-bacterial wipes at their entries so that we can wipe down the handle of the cart.  Use them to protect yourself and others from germs that are easily passed around in public places.  And when you’re done with the wipe, dispose of it carefully in the container provided.

When shopping for produce, choose fruits and vegetables that are locally grown.  Shipping from far-away places puts a burden on the planet by requiring extra fuel to get items where they need to be.  Also, be aware of packaging.  Again, re-use bags from home, or don’t bother to use bags at all when selecting your produce.  Select one thing that you might not have tried before – open yourself up to new culinary possibilities!

Consider your time in the market as an opportunity to practice present-moment awareness.  Be fully present when choosing your items.  Smile at the people sharing this experience with you.  This is a community, and you are an important part of it.  Be grateful for the store employees who work so hard to keep the place neat and orderly so that you can find what you are looking for.  Marvel at the abundance of choices that we have before us.

Think about the many ways that you can be a conscientious consumer.  Rather than buying paper napkins, use cloth napkins at the table for dinner.  Rather than using paper towels to clean, use dish-cloths, and rags.  Rather than using cleaning products with chemicals, investigate the many natural alternatives, such as vinegar, that can be used just as efficiently with less impact on the planet. Take lunch boxes, or cloth lunch bags, to work or school instead of using paper lunch bags.  These are all the little things that end up making a big difference.  Consciously participate in green living.

Read labels to know what you are putting into your body.  There are so many options now, so check the shelves for products that are lower in sugar, sodium, and fat.  Opt for healthier alternatives, like whole grains, and higher fiber cereals. 

More and more people are deciding on a vegetarian, or even vegan, lifestyle.  Even if you don’t want to commit all the way, try going meat-free at least one day a week.

If you have a full cart of groceries and someone behind you in line has just one or two items, practice kindness by offering to let them go ahead of you.  If someone ahead of you is having trouble getting credit approval, or is taking a long time to write out a check, this is an opportunity to practice patience and compassion.

When checking out, have your discount cards or coupons ready so as not to keep the people behind you in line waiting longer than necessary.  Make sure to present your bags to the bag-person before he or she starts to pack.  If there is no one helping the cashier to bag the groceries, pitch in and help yourself.  Always show gratitude for the help you were given by expressing thanks.

And, of course, after you take the bags out of your cart and put them into your car, return the cart to the store rather than leaving it loose in the parking lot.

Everything in life, every moment we live, can be a meditation, a learning experience. With this state of mind, we can turn something like grocery shopping, which we might have thought of as a chore, into an adventure.

 

 

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31 Dec

Paint Walls Faster, Cleaner, Easier

Like the buggy whip, typewriters and 8-Track tapes, some things just don’t last. HomeRight announces that the paint tray is the latest tried and true product to become obsolete. HomeRight new EZ-Twist PaintStick offers tray-less painting and draws paint directly from the can – no tray, no bending, and no mess or drips on floors or carpets.

Paint a room with professional results with the EZ-Twist in one-fourth the time compared to using a roller and messy paint tray.

On average, with the EZ-Twist you can paint 50′ of wall length that is 8′ high in under 10 minutes. It will take on average about 40 minutes to paint the same square footage, going back and forth to your paint tray, reaching down and rolling paint from the paint tray onto your roller.

The PaintStick holds up to 18 ounces of paint in the handle. Simply twist the paint through the tube onto the roller and paint up to an 8′ x 8′ area without refilling. A small twist applies a small amount of paint for precision painting. A larger twist applies more paint to cover a larger area quickly. The twisting action provides control for easier painting.

The EZ-Twist is sold with a high-quality roller cover. This roller offers a virtually lint-free finish with flat, satin, velvet, semi-gloss and gloss paints. Tackle the difficult project of painting a ceiling, the roller’s spatter shield reduced dripping and spattering.

The EZ-Twist handle provides an ergonomic fit for greater comfort. The long tube extends reach for walls and ceilings – almost no need for a ladder when painting. Even paint ceilings without worrying about getting paint on you, your clothes or the floor by snapping on the Spatter Shield.

Also from HomeRight, the Easy Wash Stick.]]>

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31 Dec

Eat, Pray, Blog: Getting There without Going Anywhere

Eat, Pray, Love has spiritual seekers everywhere following in Elizabeth Gilberts footsteps, literally, traveling to Italy, India, and Bali on an adventure of a lifetime.And now that Julia Roberts has followed suit on the big screen, it is likely that many more will make the sojourn to these exotic locations in pursuit of something to marvel at.There is much to marvel at anytime you travel.Everything is new, and different.It opens your eyes, engages the senses. Travel is an amazing opportunity to learn and grow through new experiences.

And yet, as Confucius stated so plainly: No matter where you go, there you are. The spiritual journey is a journey within.We dont need to climb a mountain in Tibet to achieve the kind of inner peace we so desperately crave.We dont need to go anywhere, we dont even need to do anything, to find ourselves in a place of balance and bliss.

So, given that we can’t all jet off to foreign countries on a whim, let’s go on our own spiritual quest, right where we are, starting with eat.

Tantra teaches us that we experience the world through our five senses.Taste is definitely one of those senses where we can experience much pleasure  and given the cuisine, one might even say nirvana.When eating, the sense of smell also comes into play; the aroma heightens the anticipation, and enhances the flavors.Sight is involved with food.We’ve learned from the many Food Network shows how important presentation is in a meal.When food looks good, we’re more likely to perceive it as tasting good.Touch is in the texture of the food.How does it feel in your mouth? And even sound is in food from the sizzle on the grill to the crunch of that perfect bite, to the oohs and aahs that emerge from satisfied diners.

Great pasta dinners aren’t only in Italy. We can cook, and have fun in our very own kitchen creating and experimenting with sauces and seasonings. Or we can find a lovely little neighborhood restaurant, and allow ourselves to be served with careful attention. Eating gives us a chance to indulge all of our five senses, to be present in the moment, to savor the experience and to be aware of the feelings that it evokes from deep within. When we are in present moment awareness there is no regret, fear, or guilt. There is only gratitude. And that is a beautiful place to be.

Pray takes us into silence, into the stillness where all the wisdom of the universe can be found. Our busy world is filled with commotion. We are inundated with errands and e-mails and obligations. Our lives are slaves to the clock and the calendar, scheduled out farther that we even care to plan. But when we meditate, there is no time and space. The world seems to stop; our mind begins to quiet. Gone are the commercials and the traffic and the to-do lists. Suddenly we become aware of our breath, which brings us back to ourselves. We listen, and answers come, truth reveals itself, calmness settles in.

We could be in a temple, some historically preserved monument. Or we could be right where we are, perhaps smack dab in the middle of the couch.It doesn’t matter, because it’s all the same, it’s all connected. When we get together and meditate in groups, the experience is amplified. Energy rises, and circulates, and infuses each participant. Take that time away from the busy-ness, shut off the phone, unplug from technology  get back to nature, get back to yourself and you’ll remember who you are.

Love is all about relationships.And life is all about love.Who we love, and what we love. When we are doing what we love and also helping people, then we have found our dharma or purpose in life. There is nothing more fulfilling. If there is anything this world needs more of, it is love. We can never get too much of it! Extend yourself beyond your comfort zone, beyond the parameters that have been self-imposed, and reach out to someone with love. It’s easy to love a baby, or a kitten. So innocent and sweet, so receptive and accepting. The challenge is for us to love something or someone that might appear to us to be unlovable. The rejected, the downtrodden, the messy, the annoying. Yet when we do open our hearts, and we allow that love to pour forth, we feel an influx of love coming right back to us. Love the moment, every moment. Love where you are, wherever that is. Marvel at your surroundings, the miracles that extend in and around the immediate environment. Everything that is here is here for you. The ground yearns for your footsteps. You love, and you are loved completely.

When you implement these simple techniques, what starts as a holiday becomes a habit. That habit then becomes a lifestyle. It’s a matter of mindfulness. We have the opportunity to practice every day, every moment, anywhere we are.

My new e-course with Daily Om is 9 Weeks to Joyful Living. Do the exercises and you’ll find you are living a life filled with elegance, joy, and simplicity. Once you do that, you can’t go back.

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31 Dec

June is Internet Safety Month – free software!

Pandora Corp. Announces PC Pandora Computer Monitoring Software FREE Giveaway For Internet Safety Month The United States Senate has named June as Internet Safety Month. For the last week in June, Pandora Corp. will give away their signature computer monitoring software absolutely FREE to parents that need an effective solution to keep their kids safe on the Internet this summer. (Vocus) June 24, 2010 — Earlier this month, the US Senate passed a resolution proclaiming June as “Internet Safety Month.” The motion comes as an effort to educate parents and children about the dangers of the Internet and spread awareness. While most people will say that nothing in life is free and “everything has a price,” for the last week in June, Pandora Corp. is changing the rules. Beginning at 12:01 AM (Pacific Standard Time) on Saturday, June 26th, and continuing through midnight on Wednesday, June 30th, the company will be giving away its signature computer monitoring software, PC Pandora 6.0, absolutely free! “We did a holiday giveaway in 2008 and it went very well,” says James Leasure, co-founder of Pandora Corp. “Unfortunately, the economy still hasn’t turned around for most folks yet, but the need for an effective solution to keep kids safe online this summer is still overwhelmingly present. So, we’d like to help the parents in need once again.” During the last week in June, parents can visit www.pcpandora.com and use the code FREESUMMER2010 to get the current PC Pandora 6.0 absolutely free as a download. The giveaway will last until 11:59 PM (PST) on June 30th, 2010, or until 50,000 units have been given away. No catches. No strings. During the 2008 holiday giveaway, over 35,000 parents were given a copy of PC Pandora for free. Pandora Corp. is hoping to help as many parents with the second free giveaway in the company’s history. “The US Senate says this is the month for parents to educate themselves on the dangers of the Internet,” explains Leasure. “There is no better way to educate yourself than finding out and learning exactly what your children are doing online.” [PC Pandora is computer monitoring software that records all activity on a computer. First-rate monitoring capabilities take sequential snapshots of everything that happens on the screen, thus allowing parents to see first-hand everything their child does both on and offline. Complete records of all user activity are presented in both text-based files and easy-to-read charts. All instant messenger chats, emails sent and received, websites visited, peer-2-peer files shared, keystrokes logged, programs accessed, Internet search queries and more are recorded for parents to review. “If your child is talking to strangers on social networks, creating multiple social network profiles, downloading illegal music and movies, falling victim to a cyberbully, or simply visiting websites you don’t approve of, you will know about it if you are monitoring their internet activity.” For parents that have to work this summer and leave the kids home alone, PC Pandora comes equipped with the IRIS feature, which sends the recorded text-based files to a parent’s email at specified intervals. But it’s the newest companion to PC Pandora 6.0 that makes monitoring kids on the Internet easier than ever before. PC Pandora LIVE! allows parents to access the data recorded by PC Pandora from anywhere in the world through a safe and secure SSL encrypted website. All a parent needs is an Internet connection and a web browser; users can even log in from their iPhones� and other handheld devices. “While the IRIS email report feature is a valuable tool for any parent, the LIVE! service is priceless,” says Leasure. “PC Pandora LIVE! allows you to review the data and adjust settings on the monitored computer. Not only can you can check web history and view instant messenger and email conversations, but you can also view the screenshots, update Internet filters, and fine-tune the parental control parameters, all while at work, on the road, or simply unable to be at home in front of the monitored computer.” For parents monitoring multiple computers, PC Pandora LIVE! also collects the data from all machines with PC Pandora 6.0 installed and provides that data in a single place for easy review. This makes it easier to review a child’s activity – no more emails to comb through and no more having to manually view the data on multiple computers. Typical filters and standard blocks are easy for savvy young users to circumnavigate, but if you have computer monitoring software, you’ll know what your children are doing and be able to act appropriately. Leasure states: “This summer, parents need to know what their kids are doing online. Our PC Pandora 6.0 monitoring software coupled with the LIVE! service is the best all-around defense parents can get to help keep their children safe on the Internet. If someone is approaching a child with ill intentions, or if a child is engaging in risky behavior, the parent will know and can act immediately.” Pandora Corp. is offering a fully-functional copy of PC Pandora 6.0, a $70 value, absolutely free for their Internet Safety Month giveaway. Leasure adds, “While we unfortunately can’t offer the LIVE! service for free at this time, it’s a reasonably priced add-on for parents who want the convenience and extra measure of safety it provides.” Parents interested in getting a copy of PC Pandora can go to www.pcpandora.com and use the code FREESUMMER2010 at checkout to get PC Pandora 6.0 for FREE! About PC Pandora: Pandora Corporation was formed with one goal – to help our customers monitor, control and protect their families and themselves online. First released in mid 2005, PC Pandora has been constantly upgraded to industry-leading specifications and has received accolades from users, reviewers and even school districts and law enforcement agencies, who use the program to help in the day-to-day supervision of the children and citizens they are charged with protecting. The company website devotes space to helping parents by providing them with 18 Tips to Safe Surfing and Pandora’s Blog, where current news in the world of online safety is discussed regularly. In addition, the Pandora Corp. has made the PD Pandora Internet Safety Symposium available to schools and law enforcement as a free resource for spreading internet safety awareness to parents. Over the past few years, PC Pandora has vaulted into a leadership position for parental control software by boasting a combination of features that are unparalleled in the monitoring industry. In 2010, Version 6.0 was released, again widening the spectrum of coverage and protection offered by the program. Concurrently released with 6.0, the web-based PC Pandora LIVE! service affords parents the ability to keep their kids safe from anywhere at anytime. PC Pandora is also now available through the Pandora Corp. store at Amazon.com.

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31 Dec

Distressing Times Well Worn

I have heard that fashion often reflects the mood of the times.  When we are optimistic as a society, hemlines tend to go up.  When we feel gloomy, we see more dark gray hues.  So it really is no surprise that the fashion trend of the moment seems to be the “distressed” look. 

I’ve seen this everywhere.  Jeans have manufactured holes in them, strategically placed rips and sanded down seams.  Shirts are wrinkled on purpose, just enough to give that worn-for-a-long-time feel to them.  Gone are the starched collars and in is a more “easy” fit.  Our new shoes are to be worn not only without socks, but also with the laces conspicuously missing.

Our clothes are mirroring our distress.  We’ve got a monstrous unemployment rate, and a seemingly endless war or two going on at the same time.  We are dealing with natural disasters all over the globe, and an oil spill with repercussions that reach far into the future.  The economy basically, well, is there any better word than “sucks” right now? And on top of all this, there’s the whole Tiger letdown, Jesse cheating on our beloved Sandra, and the Gores’ divorce!  Yes, “distress” is putting it mildly.

The fact that we have chosen to wear the distressed look tells me that as bad as things are, we have hope.  We know we can get through this.  These are the kinds of clothes we wear when we’re ready to get down to the business at hand.  Those paint splattered khakis?  They say: “I can handle anything!”  That faded denim shirt?  It says: “Put me to work!”

Volunteerism is at its highest level since 1992.  We may be pinching pennies, but we were able to scrape up $1.3 million dollars in just 2 hours when Larry King went on the air to raise money to help clean up the Gulf.  This is definitely a “can do” society.  We are keenly aware that things are bad, and we’re making a concerted effort to do what we can to make things better.

We are banding together more.  Those “six-degrees of separation” have all but disappeared with social networking.  Alyssa Milano personally tweets the importance of the mosquito net in helping to combat malaria and with just a few clicks we are sending a net to the cause.  Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete have raised awareness and inspired us to take action on behalf of families struggling with autism.  Philanthropy has gone viral!

So, yes, with all the events that are happening seemingly at the same time, we’re distressed.  But maybe in this state we finally have our priorities straight.  Maybe we are starting to understand what is important to us.  Our style is changing, and evolving.  I see the current trend as a statement that “fashion” as we know it doesn’t matter right now.  What matters is that we take care of the issues at hand, and that we take care of ourselves and each other.

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31 Dec

Just in Time for Sex and the City 2 – Cosmos All Around!

Here’s the real story behind the fabulous Cosmopolitan cocktail, just in time for the release of Sex & the City 2.  
 
The story begins and ends with master mixologist, Dale “King Cocktail” DeGroff.   While Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda are often credited with bringing the Cosmopolitan cocktail to widespread popularity and acclaim, the story behind the cocktail actually pre-dates the fab SATC four.  The real story begins in 1992 at an exclusive after-party for the Grammy
s, held at the Rainbow Room where Dale was tending bar.  That evening, all eyes were on Madonna as she and her entourage settled in the VIP Lounge.  The provocative songstress requested something chic and delicious, and DeGroff whipped up a batch of Cosmopolitans.
 
He served the pink libation to the original Material Girl, Madonna, and the AP image circulated around the globe.  The Cosmo became an overnight sensation!  It was one of the first cocktails to gain international notoriety, and was a catalyst for the cocktail-craft and mixology explosion that would later grip the U.S. and the world!
 
To celebrate the release of Sex & the City 2, Dale has revived his classic drink creating a modern twist on the Cosmo for the more grown up ladies. Cosmopolitan Dreams adds a sophisticated touch of champagne, bringing the Cosmo back and ready to take on the new millennium.
 
The Cosmopolitan Dreams (created by Dale DeGroff)

3/4 ounce Citrus Vodka
3/4 ounce Cointreau
3/4 ounce Cranberry juice
1/4 ounce Fresh lime juice
2 1/2 ounces Piper Heidsieck Champagne
 
Assemble the vodka, Cointreau, and juices in a boston shaker with ice and shake well to chill.
 
Strain into a champagne glass and fill with champagne. Garnish with a flamed orange peel.
 
 
The Original Cosmopolitan (created by Dale DeGroff)
 
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 oz Cointreau
1 oz cranberry juice
3/4 oz lime juice
 
Shake and strain into a chilled martini glass.
 
Garnish with a twist of orange

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31 Dec

Cleopatra’s Secret for Skin Care?

At CoffeyTalk, we’re all about ancient wisdom and modern style.  We’ve discovered many beauty secrets from throughout time and cultures.  Now we’re found something of a gem – and it comes from that land of Egypt.

Stanley Jacobs is a facial plastic surgeon by day and somewhat of an “Egyptologist” in his spare time.  Like an Indiana Jones character, when he came upon the “Edwin Smith Surgical Papyrus” – a document that contains many extraordinary descriptions of medical and surgical techniques dating from 2500 to 3000 B.C., he knew this contained valuable information.  In the back of the text was a chapter about “transforming an old man into a youth.”  In it, a recipe with the key ingredient being “hemayet.”  Maybe this is how Cleopatra kept her youthful glow…

Ah!  The mystery continues, as our hero is on the case!  He travels to Egypt, meets with world-renown experts and scholars, and hemayet is translated to mean “bitter almonds.”  However, these almonds are inedible, and not available in the United States.  Jacobs continues his study to determine that the almonds were used as a part of a topical mixture applied to the skin, and he begins the process of importing the almonds from China.  Enter New York chemist and cosmetic researcher extraordinaire Jules Zecchino, who finds that the real secret in the almonds is their “mandelic acid” – one of the most powerful of the alpha-hydroxy acids, currently used to fight the bacteria that causes acne.

The original recipe for this serum called for frankincense, so Jacobs added that, along with other components that were listed like licorice root, as well as resveratrol, to come up with a beautiful new product that is easily accessible today: “Visco-Elastic Transforming Serum.”

With twice-daily application of the serum over a one-month time period, studies show that there is an average increase in skin elasticity of 50%.  The elasticity of the skin is measured with a German device called a “Cutometer.”

When I first heard of this product, I was intrigued.  Since I don’t want to recommend anything to you that I haven’t first tried myself, I gave it a go.  The serum itself is opaque and creamy.  It smoothes in easily.  I find that it takes 5 pumps to cover the entire face and neck.  After 3 weeks of twice-daily use, I have noticed a difference!  The little crepe-y patch that was starting to form under my eye is now gone.  My skin feels fresh and dewy, and the fine lines are much less noticeable.  I like it!  Normal.dotm 0 0 1 23 133                     1 1 163 12.256

And the best part is that you don’t even have to travel to ancient Egypt to get this little treasure – you just have to go to the amazon – amazon.com that is.

 Visco-Elastic Transforming Serum

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31 Dec

CLOSURE: How to Move Forward Powerfully and Positively

Each of us experiences some kind of loss in this lifetime.  People come and go from our lives, whether by choice or circumstance.  How we cope with these events affects how we move forward, how we see the world, and how we feel about our lives.  I’m not the only person to have been through a divorce.  When my first marriage ended after 17 years, I thought I handled it well.  It was an amicable parting, and we maintained a friendly relationship.  But then a few years later my sister’s husband died unexpectedly.  My grief brought up new emotions, and I felt sad and angry and hurt as I relived the divorce in my mind.  I realized through this experience that although I had moved on, I hadn’t really gotten over it; I didn’t have closure.  I saw the parallels between my sister’s loss and my own, and I actively sought to come up with a formula through which we could both alleviate our pain. Relationships take many forms: marriage, friendships, family, co-workers, classmates, lovers.  Whenever two people have some kind of a connection, a relationship is established.  Our energy goes into these connections, our emotions, our hopes, our human vulnerabilities.  A relationship is an organism itself, and it can have a life cycle.  But since relationship is a spiritual organism, it doesn’t die.  It merely changes shape.  The relationships we build with the people we encounter continue in spirit, in memories, and in lessons learned. We are invested in our relationships with other people.  We spend our time, and emotions, developing a kind of bond with a person.  We give of ourselves, through our love, our friendship, our concern, and our efforts. When we are faced with what seems to be the “end” of a relationship, we may feel loss, grief, anger or pain.  We might even feel relief, or freedom.  We may question the purpose for this change, whether it is abrupt or expected, and the necessity of it.  The change may or may not be our choice, or our desire, but something we must learn to live with.  The uneasiness may nag at us for years as we struggle to understand.  How do we get that “closure” that our hearts and minds so desperately seek so that we can move forward with our lives? We need to shift our perspective a little bit when it comes to relationships.  In our human form, we see the illusion of death, and the ending of relationships.  But what really takes place is a transformation.  As we learn and grow through our relationships, our relationships evolve.  We can use this evolution as an opportunity for continued growth, and for personal transformation.  The pains that we feel are growing pains.  However a relationship changes, whether it is a loss from physical death, a divorce, a move away, a growing up, or a falling out, we can not only survive, but thrive, knowing that everything, always, is exactly the way it is meant to be. A Natural Law works whether we are aware of it or not.  It is a principle of nature that is in effect at all times, without favoritism.  Gravity is a natural law.  It works the same for everyone, at all times.  By being aware of gravity, we can move about more freely, with less risk of pain from falling down. The Law of Relationship is two-fold.  It says:
1) We are all connected.
2) We are here to help each other. We are all connected in one way or another.  We feel the same emotions; we share the same experiences.  We are brothers and sisters on this planet.  This connection bonds us, and gives us a relationship with each other.  A mother in any part the world, can relate to another mother she has never seen because she knows what it means, and how it feels, to be a mother.  We are all born the same way, and have to learn how to walk and talk and find our way in the world.  We face challenges and heartache, no matter where we live, or how we live.  Our connection cannot be broken.  With our challenges and experiences we learn and grow.  Our relationships bring us many challenges and experiences, and through our relationships we learn and grow.  This is how we help each other.  We may not even know that we are doing it, but just by being in a person’s life, in some small way, we are contributing to the learning process, as they are contributing to ours.  Our actions affect other people in ways we can’t even imagine.  Even in times when we feel hurt by someone, that is an opportunity for us to learn and grow.  We might not realize it in the moment, but in some strange and miraculous way, we are helping each other by going through this experience together. Closure is different than grief.  Grieving is looking back; closure is about looking ahead.  We want to let go and move on.  This is what closure gives us.  We may have gone through the grieving process and still not have the closure we seek.  The law of relationship helps us to maneuver our way through the five set process of closure: Recognition, Acceptance, Understanding, Integration, and Gratitude.  When we reach a feeling of gratitude, we know we’ve come full circle to experience closure.  Closure is actually the perfect word for it.  It’s more than neatly tying up loose ends.  Think about life as a series of events and relationships, all linked together in some sort of artistic way, like a beautiful piece of jewelry.  We can’t wear a necklace or a bracelet if the chain is just left dangling.  The jewelry maker finishes off the piece by adding a clasp, one loop that kind of ties together the beginning and the end, the start and the finish, so that what we are left with is one strong continuous chain.  Our closure is that clasp.  Closure helps it all make sense.  It turns something seemingly broken into something useful, purposeful, and lovely.

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31 Dec

All Children are Our Children

All Children are Our Children

A study commissioned by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption showed that nearly 40% of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child.  If just one in 500 of these adults decided to adopt, all of the 134,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption would have a permanent home.

I’ve written before about my experiences volunteering at a local group foster home.  It’s actually a residential treatment and crisis care center.  While there are many children who live there for varying amounts of time, I have been lucky enough to establish relationships with a handful of them.  I love these kids.  I feel like they are my children.  And in a very real sense, they are mine.  And they are yours.  They are a part of our community, and they are a part of ourselves.

When I first committed to this “job” I agreed to come in for two hours a week, for four weeks.  I’m now averaging four hours a day, five days a week, and I just was there for eleven days in a row.  I’m well into my sixth month, and I can’t imagine stopping ever.  Being a volunteer means that I am not paid, and spending this much time at the place actually costs me lots of money each week.  I can’t help but bring fresh fruit and books and things like that.  I make the time because this is important.  I spend the money because I would rather help these kids than save up to buy a designer purse.

More and more we are learning that we live in a global community.  We see how much of what happens in other communities, and other countries, has an affect on our own lives.  And because of the internet and ease of travel, it’s easier for us to reach out and help children not only in our hometowns, but around the world. 

I recently met Vivian Glyck, an amazing woman who has made a difference by following her vision.  She says that after becoming a mother, she developed “a keen sense that the world is so small, it is really just one community, and I realized that taking care of oneself means heeding one’s calling – without hesitation or deliberation.”  Vivian’s calling is helping children in Uganda.  Why?  Because 25 million Africans, many of whom are children, are infected with the HIV virus.  Every 30 seconds a child in Africa dies of malaria.  12 million children are already orphaned by AIDS.  Vivian travels to Africa and works with children personally, and she says they are “just like my child” which is why she named her organization “Just Like My Child.”  The mission is to alleviate the suffering of women, children, and families in rural Uganda by empowering communities to create their own long-term solutions to healthcare, education, and microenterprise.  Read more about Vivian’s story at: justlikemychild.org

My friend Lysa Heslov is also helping children with her foundation Children Mending Hearts.  Her mission is to give children worldwide the power to find and use their voices through creative expression.  This is a global arts exchange between at-risk children in America and children living in conflict zones around the world that educates, empowers and encourages all the participants.  People of various cultures connect the different projects, and learn and grow from their experiences with each other.  Lysa has traveled to the Congo and worked with children first hand.  And now her foundation is traveling around the United States to conduct art workshops.  For more information visit: childrenmendinghearts.org

My friend Joseph Curiale saw a news story on CNN which compelled him to start a foundation to help orphaned girls in India.  Right now there are four girls going to school on scholarships, who would otherwise be living in poverty in a government orphanage.  Joe has traveled back and forth to India 12 times to make sure that these children, whom he considers his own, are getting the support, and the love, that they need.  Joe is a testament to how one person can make a difference in this world.  The work he has done is remarkable.  Read more about his story at: josephcurialefoundation.com

Through organizations like Plan USA we can sponsor an individual child, and help that child’s family and community as well.  Sponsorship helps to provide vaccination and nutrition programs, community water systems and well construction, home and health clinic construction, school and teachers, and so much more.  As a sponsor you receive a photo of your child, a family profile to introduce you and provide information about the community, and regular updates on how everyone is doing.  You can send letters and small gifts, and you can even visit your child!  This sponsored child becomes your ambassador to a place and culture that you might otherwise never know.  I began sponsoring Swapna, a little girl in rural India, in 2005.  I’ve been able to see her grow and communicate through Plan USA’s field office volunteers.  We don’t speak the same language, and the geographical distance is great, but we are connected through our hearts.  She is a beautiful child, and I am grateful to be able to contribute to her life in some way.  If you’d like to sponsor a child, visit: planusa.org

All children are children of the world.  All children are our children.

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31 Dec

Healthcare

Healthcare

Years ago, when my son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), my life changed.  I went from being a mother to also taking on the additional roles of advocate and mediator.  In order to help my son get the help he needed and the services he was entitled to in school, I had to learn everything I could about the educational system, the healthcare system, and the law.  It is a challenge to navigate all of this, and yet it is essential in order to work with teachers, administrators, doctors, and therapists as part of a team.  I learned a lot, thanks in large part to an organization called CHADD, Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorders.  This is a national, non-profit organization with local, volunteer-run chapters.  Our local chapter held monthly meetings, which allowed parents to keep up with the various issues and changes.  Most importantly, the meetings provided a forum for parents to network with each other and share experiences and resources.

We got over all the hurdles, and managed to get through the system despite the complexities.  My son is in college now, and he has the tools to advocate for himself.  But there are new kids coming up, and new parents who are starting from scratch to figure all of this out.  Luckily, CHADD is still on it, providing us with the ongoing information we need to help our kids. 

Following is an e-mail I received from CHADD regarding the current Healthcare Reform Legislation.  I am happy to share it with you, and hoping that it will encourage all of us to look at the many children and families who will benefit from healthcare reform.  To those of us working so diligently to take care of our children, this is most welcome, and long overdue.

“House of Representatives Passes
Comprehensive Healthcare Reform Legislation

Many Provisions Will Benefit
Children and Adults with AD/HD and Related Disorders

On Saturday, November 7, 2009, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a comprehensive healthcare reform bill, the Affordable Health Care for America Act (HR 3962) by a vote of 220-215. It is expected that the full Senate will debate and vote on its version of the bill in the coming weeks, which will then be followed by the House and Senate having its leaders meet in a conference to reconcile differences and produce a final piece of legislation that can be sent to the President.

CHADD, through its membership in the Consortium for Citizens with Disabilities, Campaign for Mental Health Reform, and the Mental Health Liaison Group has sent letters to members of Congress in support of the bill. CHADD’s views on and support for healthcare reform legislation can be viewed on the Healthcare Reform 2009 webpage and CHADD’s Leadership Blog. CHADD has no position on many of the provisions contained in the legislation. The three primary disability coalitions CHADD participates in, believe there are significant key provisions warranting support of the legislation. 

A few key provisions in the final House bill that will benefit children and adults with AD/HD and related disorders include:

    * Requiring most Americans to obtain health insurance, and mandating that most employers provide insurance to their employees, but also providing substantial federal subsidies to make coverage as affordable as possible;
    * Providing coverage of critical services for people with disabilities in the new Health Insurance Exchange’s essential benefits package including behavioral health treatment, and mental health and substance abuse services in compliance with the Wellstone-Domenici parity law, rehabilitation and habilitation services, equipment and supplies for children under 21 years of age;
    * Inclusion of “disability” as a category for purposes of health disparities;
    * Inclusion of the Community Living Assistance Services and Supports (CLASS) Act, a new national long term services insurance program to help adults with severe functional impairments to remain independent, employed, and a part of their communities; and
* Not allowing individual or group health insurance policies to establish lifetime or annual limits on the dollar value of benefits and the elimination of discrimination based on health status or a pre-existing condition.

CHADD continues to actively monitor developments in healthcare reform. Updated information on the legislation, CHADD’s 13 principles for healthcare reform, children’s mental health coalition’s five principles for healthcare reform and CHADD’s work with other partner coalitions can be viewed on CHADD’s website: http://www.chadd.org

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