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Dear Lissa,


I am approaching my mid 40’s, not had a serious relationship for a while, and not dated for a while either. But just lately I have begun to desire a full on female lead femdom relationship. I have begun to dream about serving the woman both outside and inside the bedroom. This desire is becoming really strong and I am now wishing to truly pamper and spoil a woman. Like giving a woman foot rubs, painting her nails, giving her all over massages, pouring and making her drinks un the evening, I am even wishing to cook lovely romantic evening meals, doing most of all the housework. I am basically now wishing to be a woman’s slave, I know this sounds weird. But this is the way I genuinely feel. I want to find a dominant woman to worship, adore, serve and totally surrender and submit to, I am looking for a woman to completely control me, not just outside the bedroom, but inside it too.

I have something called “Asperger’s Syndrome” This means I cannot pick up on things like body language, facial expressions and can get really lost in social situations. So how can I get to a place that I am both attracting the desired type of women and to know what signals to pick up on too?

These submissive desires are beginning to get bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger; they are beginning to drive me wild. I am beginning to become really passionate with these desires, thinking of how I get start dating a strict woman of my dream of whom I can please.

Please help me with some really good practical advice that could change my life forever and for the better. Oh how I dream of the day I can marry a lovely woman that can control me and of whom I can adore and admire totally. I basically want to be a thoughtful, kind and attentive lover.

I really hope you can help me and I will thank you in advance for any help you may give?

Best wishes.





There is a difference between love and lust.  What you are fantasizing about is something that can be accomplished with a purely sexual relationship.  A real relationship, one that lasts, one that is a partnership, like marriage, is based on equality and respect.

I don’t think your Asperger’s has anything to do with this fantasy.  Many people with Asperger’s have wonderfully loving relationships.  

There are many social skills groups available for adults with Asperger’s.  Asperger’s is on the autism spectrum, ranging from mild AD/HD to severe autism.  If you joined a group, which you can find through a counselor, psychologist or therapist who specializes in this, you would be able to meet others who have the same issues, and you could all learn from each other.

The best place to go to meet women who are interested in you is to go to places where you might have a common interest.  If you’re into the arts and culture, hang out at museums, go to events where there are lots of people who support the museum.  If you’re into cooking, take classes, and go to specialty food shops.

I don’t mean to diminish your desire for a submissive role in a relationship.  I’m just saying that it is not what is going to make you happy in the long run.

Hope that helps,