Coffeytalk on Facebook
Coffeytalk on Twitter
Coffeytalk on Youtube
Coffeytalk on Instagram
Coffeytalk on Amazon
Coffeytalk on Spotify
Lissa Coffey on Vibe
Lissa Coffey Podcasts on iTunes Connect

Lonely in Melbourne


Hi Lisa,

Hope you’re well.

I ‘m regarded as being Vata. Most of the charateristcs of VATA are accurate, particulatly in relation to not being able to keep friendships. For many years i mourned the absence of close friendships and so often I asked why?? I consider myself a caring, sociable. compassionate and loyal person that can hold a good conversation. Then why?? I really long for this closness with people.

Can you shed some light on this?

I’ve read self help books as well.


Thankyou kindly




The dominant elements in Vata are air and space.  I’m a Vata, too, so I understand this.  We are creative and independent, we like being able to go with the wind, to change our minds, to take flight when necessary.  We put space around ourselves because we like our freedom.

At the same time, this isn’t always appropriate.  We do need some close friends, some people we can count on and who can count on us.  So how do we do this?  We enhance our Kapha – Kapha is loving and loyal and supporting.  Kapha is sturdy and dependable, very “earthy.”  

Like attracts like, so we tend to gravitate towards friends who are Vata like us – but Vatas don’t make the best friends!  So we can either be more Kapha and try to get these Vatas to stick around, or we can look for Kapha friends who will love us for who we are.  

One thing I’ve found that really works in looking for good people who make good friends is to do volunteer work.  You’ll automatically have whatever cause it is that you choose in common with someone – and you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get together again.  You need to put yourself out there, and let the universe know that you are open and willing to bring people into your life.


Have fun with this!