Coffeytalk on Facebook
Coffeytalk on Twitter
Coffeytalk on Youtube
Coffeytalk on Instagram
Coffeytalk on Amazon
Coffeytalk on Spotify
buttonlayer2

Concerned in LA

Question

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months.  We’re both over 40, and we both have busy lives.  So we have a limited time for dating, usually just on the weekends.

Last weekend, I saw a side of him that I had never witnessed.  We got into an argument (which we hardly ever have) because he was putting my daughter down.  I got very defensive, and he decided he didn’t want to accompany me to the race we were headed to, 300 miles away.  I was so shocked at his behavior – almost a threat, and treating like a kid, that I agreed he shouldn’t go.  In fact, I said we should break up.  He got angry, and started throwing things, not at me, but explosively.  He was throwing a temper tantrum and kicked his suitcase so hard, that he almost broke his toe.  And although he ended up going, and although the tension had dissipated, he was still throwing things at the slightest mishap.  Should I be scared of this behavior?  I keep thinking, I need to get out of this relationship.  There are couple other major issues, but I wanted to consult about his anger and explosive tantrum issues.  Thank you so much in advance.

Answer

Yes, you should be scared about this behavior.  Not only for yourself, but for your daughter.  You have to protect yourself and especially your daughter.  Anyone who would put your child down does not belong in your house.  That’s verbal abuse.  And if you allow it, it won’t stop there.

 Red flags all over the place here!  It’s really good that you saw this now before the relationship went any further.  Get out now, or there will be lots of heartache ahead.

Love,

Lissa