Language

" How did language develop? In much the same way as an economic order develops through the market - out of the voluntary interaction of individuals, in this case seeking to trade ideas or information or gossip rather than goods and services with one another."
-Milton Friedman (1912 - ) and Rose Friedman, 1979

This week's topic is language. And whatever language we speak, it's our way of communicating with one another. Language is a means of translating our feelings and emotions into words so that we can be understood. When we can master a language, then we can be more clearly understood, and we can more clearly understand, too. There's always more to learn, about words, and about each other.
-Lissa Coffey

Laughter

“Laughter is the lightning rod of play, the eroticism of conversation.”
-Eva Hoffman

Look in any women’s magazine and you’ll find some sort of survey that ranks “sense of humor” as one of the most attractive qualities in a person. We love to laugh, and we love people who can make us laugh! Laughter builds wonderful connections between us. We let down our guard and allow ourselves to just enjoy the moment.
-Lissa Coffey

Leadership

“What you cannot enforce,
Do not command!”
-Sophocles (496? – 406 B.C.)

The laws of nature are always at play. There are some things that we just can’t control, nor would we want to! When we’re in the flow, we realize that right action takes place, in its own way and in its own time. Let God lead, and we’ll end up exactly where we want to be!
-Lissa Coffey

Learning

“ What we learn to do, we learn by doing.”
-Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

There’s a difference between theory and practice. We may know how to meditate – all the technical points and benefits of meditation that we hear so much about. But until we actually meditate ourselves, we haven’t really learned anything about it! On a recent episode of the TV comedy “Frasier,” Frasier and his brother were trying to learn how to ride a bike by reading a book. Now we know how silly that is! And yet, that’s the same kind of thing we often do in our spiritual practices. We read about prayer, and chanting, and mantras – but to really “get it” we’ve got to do it!
-Lissa Coffey

Leisure

"Nothing excellent can be done without leisure."
-Andre Gide (1869-1951)

One of my favorite quotes is from Emerson who said: "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." There seems to be a magic formula for success and excellence. We need down-time and a good attitude! This leisure time lets us clear our minds and think more efficiently. It helps us keep things in perspective. Haven't we all had the experience where we're working so hard, struggling to solve a problem and the answer is just not coming to us? And then, we take some time off and do something else and the answer just pops into our head! There is a purpose to this, and it is divine!
-Lissa Coffey

Life

“Trust life, and it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know.”
-James Baldwin (1924-1987)

Here’s a broad topic for this week… “life!” You know the punchline when someone asks: “Got any questions?” and someone answers back, “Yeah, what’s the meaning of life?” We laugh because we know that’s not exactly what the first guy was expecting to hear… and also because we know that it is the BIG question we’ve all come here to find out… and because we know that there are no easy answers! It’s the same for all of us. But at some point we figure out that we don’t NEED to know everything. We understand that we can trust the process enough to know that life is here for us and that we will learn all we really need to know along the way.
-Lissa Coffey

Love

"Love is the central flame of the universe, nay, the very fire itself."
-Ernest Holmes

Of course, during this Valentine's week, our focus is on "love." What else is there, really? A Course in Miracles says that there are only two things in this life - love and fear... and when it all comes down to it, there is really just love. For just a little word, LOVE is a huge concept. Love is our greatest motivator, our deepest inspiration. No wonder love is so often associated with fire, and desire, and burning passion. It warms us, heals us, frees us.
-Lissa Coffey

Luck

"Luck to me means hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't."
-Lucille Ball (1911-1989)

So, it's not just hard work, it's also being smart about it- discriminating between which chances we take, and which we don't. It's knowing what it takes to be ready for an opportunity and doing the necessary preparation for it.
-Lissa Coffey

Language

" There have been periods in the history of the various cultures, when the language of spirituality was clear, accurate and exhaustive. At the present time it is muddled, inadequate to the fact and dangerously equivocal. Lacking a proper vocabulary, people find it hard, not only to think about the most important issues of life, but even to realize that these issues exist."
-Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

This is really interesting to think about. Is our language of spirituality clear, accurate and exhaustive? So many times, when asked about our beliefs, it seems it's hard to put into words. It's difficult to define any big concept like that because the meanings of words can vary based upon the experience of each person. But we have to start somewhere. It might be a good exercise to write up some of our own definitions just to see what kind of language we come up with to express ourselves. We might just discover something about ourselves long the way, too. Start with these: love, joy, peace, faith.
-Lissa Coffey

Language

"Language is power… Language can be used as a means of changing reality."
-Adrienne Rich (1929 - )

The words we say carry weight, carry meaning. And it's not only which words we say but the way that we say them, too. Look at the "spin" that can be put on things in advertisements and in political speeches. There are ways that we can make this concept work for us in our spiritual growth. Affirmations, for example. We use words and language to change our thinking, and we can change our lives. We create our own reality.
-Lissa Coffey

Language

"England and America are two countries separated by the same language."
-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1932)

This is so funny, and so true! I had this experience when visiting Australia. I felt a little bit like Alice in Wonderland! I could understand every word that people spoke, and yet many times I had no idea what they were talking about! The Australians still use the more traditional English terms, and somehow in America we've found another way. Is it a boot or a trunk? A bonnet or a hood? A footpath or a sidewalk? A trolley or a cart? A serviette or a napkin? And there is the same kind of communication "gap" between American adults and teenagers a lot of times... Is it good, bad or sweet? Hot, hip or cool? I could go on and on, but as they say, "a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet." What matters is that we talk with each other, the rest is "details!"
-Lissa Coffey

Language

"I never taught language for the purpose of teaching it; but invariable used language as a medium for the communication of thought; thus learning of language was coincident with the acquisition of knowledge."
-Anne Sullivan (1866-1936)

My older son is going into his junior year in high school, so he's starting to study for the SAT tests and doing all the preparation that he has to do to get ready because those scores are so important when it comes to applying to colleges. When I spoke with a tutor about it, he said that students who are well-read typically do better on the test. That is because they develop a larger vocabulary, and a broader base of general knowledge. That makes sense to me. When we read we learn, and when we learn we expand our use of language.
-Lissa Coffey

Laughter

“ Man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; is he not also the only one that deserves to be laughed at?”
-Lord Greville

And why does man deserve to be laughed at? Because we take ourselves entirely too seriously! Think about it – we’re running around with our ear glued to a cell phone, dashing through parking lots, stressing about deadlines. All the while missing what’s really important in and all around us. And we do this daily. We can’t help it, we’re creatures of habit! Well, it’s time to get into some new habits, and we can start by realizing just how silly we really are!
-Lissa Coffey

Laughter

“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.”
-Katharine Hepburn

Most of comedy is built on tragedy – the slip on the banana peel, the pie in the face, the big misunderstanding. And we laugh because we can relate – we’ve been there. In movies there can only be so much drama before we’re offered up some “comic relief.” Writers know that audiences need a break in their emotions or they just go numb. Yes, life is tragic, and life can also be hysterically funny. Have you ever had one of those things happen where you say: “We’re going to look back on this and laugh one day?” We all have. And you know what? That day does come when we laugh – and it feels good.
-Lissa Coffey

Laughter

“A good laugh is as good as a prayer sometimes.”
-L.M. Montgomery

Laughter heightens our senses so that we feel joy. And when we feel joy, we feel our connection with God. Having that feeling of oneness is like a prayer, it’s comforting, it’s cleansing. Laugh, and share the joy.
-Lissa Coffey

Laughter

“A good laugh is sunshine in a house.”
-William Makepeace Thackeray

Norman Cousins discovered personally, and wrote eloquently, about the healing power of laughter. Laughter is good medicine. When we laugh, we can’t help but feel good. We feel good around people who laugh, people who enjoy life and can express themselves so freely. Here’s a little story I heard that might get you giggling:
A wealthy man dies and goes to Heaven. He brings with him all of his earthly belongings when he meets St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter says: “Oh, my… you know, you can’t bring any of that in here.” The man pleads his case, he worked so hard for everything and can’t bear to leave it all behind. Finally St. Peter agrees to discuss the situation with his boss, who says, “Fine, let him bring in just one suitcase.” The man is overjoyed! He goes through everything and loads up one of his largest bags and presents it to St. Peter for inspection. It is filled to the brim with solid gold bars. St. Peter looks at his quizzically and says: “You brought pavement?”
-Lissa Coffey

Leadership

“ The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there.”
-John Buchan (1875-1940)

Great leaders see the greatness in the community. They understand what the community has to offer and they seek ways to express that. We can each be a leader, right where we are, just by noticing all the good around us, and bringing it to the attention of others.
-Lissa Coffey

Leadership

“Great leadership arises out of great conflict.”
-James MacGregor Burns (1918- )

In turbulent times, we often find that the best is brought out in us. When there is a need, we rise to the occasion. All of our natural instincts kick in and we help, and serve, and show compassion and empathy. It happens time and time again. But we don’t need to wait for a crisis to help each other. There are opportunities for us to do so every day.
-Lissa Coffey

Leadership

“Divide and rule, the politician cries;
Unite and lead, is watchword of the wise.”
-Goethe (1749-1832)

It has been said a million different ways, a million different times: we’re all in this together. Great leaders understand this and show us just how much we have in common. Together, with all of our talents and intelligence working as one, we can accomplish so much, more so than we ever could alone.
-Lissa Coffey

Leadership

“ Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”
-Mother Teresa

Now is the time for us to take initiative. We could wait forever for someone to tell us what to do – or we could just go out and do what we know needs to be done! We are each the leaders of our own lives. We decide. We choose.
-Lissa Coffey

Learning

“A primary method of learning is to go from the familiar to the unfamiliar.”
-Glenn Doman, How to Teach Your Baby to Read, 1964

Simple steps. And yet the unfamiliar often scares us, so that first step is the most difficult! Why not just step into the unknown? If we really want to grow, we’ve got to learn, and that means that we might have to start doing things differently to make space for that in our lives. No risk, no reward.
-Lissa Coffey

Learning

“ It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows.”
-Epictetus (A.D. 55? – 135?)

The most important ingredient in learning is an open mind. We need to approach each experience willing to take in the lesson and see the growth in ourselves. We can begin anytime, we can begin right now!
-Lissa Coffey

Learning

“ You learn more from getting your butt kicked than from getting it kissed.”
-Tom Hanks (1957- )

We often call life experiences the “school of hard knocks” because we learn from going through those rough times. And we end up being better people because of it! As hard as it may be at the time, we can be grateful for the tough times, because they give us the opportunity to learn and grow.
-Lissa Coffey

Learning

“ I am still learning.”
-Michelangelo (1475-1564)

Michelangelo was a master – no one would dispute that. And yet, he knew there was always room for growth. I think we go around a little too confident in our own skills, and then we get reminded that we still have much to learn. We drive around everywhere, especially here in Southern California, almost on auto-pilot, not really aware of what we’re doing… until one day we get a ticket, and our attention turns to the laws of the road while we’re sitting in traffic school. There are spiritual laws that we know about, too, but are we paying attention to those? We can always learn more.
-Lissa Coffey

Leisure

" Leisure is the mother of Philosophy."
-Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)

Leisure is our topic this week. We're in the midst of summer and I hope it is what on our minds at least some of the time! Remember the "Leisure Suits" that were so popular in the 70's? As if we needed the appropriate attire to lounge around in… It seems funny now, but it was so stylin' then! But maybe the real point was that we didn't necessarily need the suits, but we did, and do, need the leisure. In some strange way, that was brought to our attention. When I saw this quote was from Thomas Hobbes in the 1600's - I thought - it could very well be from another famous Hobbes from the late 1900's- Hobbes the tiger from the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip! Bill Watterson doesn't draw that strip anymore, but there are so many classics of his that make the same statement. Maybe that's how he came up with the name?
-Lissa Coffey

Leisure

"He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul's estate."
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Spiritually, we know that there is no such thing as time. And yet, here we are, living this existence, and we have these constraints to deal with. There is only so much time, so many hours in a day, so many vacation days in a year. So, how do we spend out time? And more importantly, how do we spend our precious leisure time? If we take Thoreau's advice, we spend that time in spiritual pursuits, and then we understand how wonderful leisure can really be.
-Lissa Coffey

Leisure

" Leisure requires the evidence of our own feelings, because it is not so much a quality of time as a peculiar state of mind… What being at leisure means is more easily felt than defined."
-Vernon Lee, "About Leisure," Limbo, 1908

By this definition it sounds like leisure is the opposite of stress. Ah! So, maybe there is an antidote after all! Perhaps we can choose to work leisurely and enjoy the time we spend getting things done - rather than work under stress, wishing we were doing something, anything ELSE! Perhaps it is a state of mind, one that we can tap into for our own benefit.
-Lissa Coffey

Leisure

"Leisure, some degree of it, is necessary to the health of every man's spirit."
-Harriet Martineau, Society in America (1837)

A woman said this, so we can assume that she naturally meant every man and woman's spirit! And this is so true. We care for the health of our body by eating right and exercising. We care for our mental health by learning new things and solving problems. The best way to care for the health of our spirit is to enjoy some time at leisure, doing what we love to do. It's refreshing and invigorating!
-Lissa Coffey

Life

“Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”
-Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

Can’t you just picture that? It’s so true! Here we are, living our lives, not really knowing what we’re doing until actually doing it. We’re finding our way, step by step, day by day. We will stumble, hit some sour notes, learn a few lessons, and write our own songs. An audience may reject our music, or embrace it, but we keep on playing because the instrument is there for us. And someday, with enough practice, we will be a master life-liver, a virtuoso!
-Lissa Coffey

Life

“ Life is what happens to you
While you’re busy
Making other plans.”
-John Lennon (1940-1980)

We go about our lives trying really hard to keep everything in order, all the plates spinning: jobs, family, friends, community responsibilities, etc. But every once in awhile something happens that is beyond our reach, out of our control. Maybe someone we love gets sick, or we have a bad financial setback. Now our attention is elsewhere, and it seems that everything else gets out of balance, too. The truth is that we can’t control everything, and that we probably wouldn’t be any good at it if we could! But we can control our responses to these unexpected situations. We can use our problems as opportunities to learn and to grow. These are the times when we find that reserve of strength that was there all along. We discover more of who we really are, and what we’re really capable of.
-Lissa Coffey

life

“ I slept and dreamt that life way joy.
I awoke and saw that life was duty.
I acted and behold, duty was joy.”
-Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

There’s no doubt that life can be hard. And yet life is poetic. What we learn in our time here is beautiful. All that we really take with us is the wisdom we garner. Life is full of joy. We were blessed, against all odds, to be here, in this time and place, in this particular circumstance. It is our duty to live this life and to get all that we can from the experience.
-Lissa Coffey

Life

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
-Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

We need to ask ourselves: Are we living the life that we want to live? If not, then make some changes! Life is too short, life is too precious, to miss out on. Every moment is holy. It is there for us to embrace. How many moments go by without notice? Are we spending our time analyzing the past, which is done and gone – or planning for the future, which is changing every instant? Or are we living, truly LIVING in this moment, NOW, where our life is taking place? It is not enough to exist, choose to live!
-Lissa Coffey

Love

"We may think of the Divine as a fire whose outgoing warmth pervades the Universe."
-Plotinus

Many people say God IS love. And love certainly pervades the Universe. Love is something we all understand, something we can all relate to. Every mother knows what it means to love a child. Every person is capable of giving and receiving love. In A Course in Miracles, fear is defined as the absence of love. Much like darkness is the absence of light. Let's light that fire, and light up the world with our outpouring of love!
-Lissa Coffey

Love

"Love is a fire and I am wood."
-Rumi

Love has been the subject for poets throughout the ages. In contemporary times, think of how many songs we hear that are all about love! According to the lyrics, "Love is all there is," and "Love can move mountains." Love brings us to the movies, where we can see love
acted out larger than life and feel our emotions stir. We are drawn to love because that is what we all crave more of. And we crave love because that is what we are made of! Love brings us to our true nature. We are consumed by it because we want to know who we really are, and love allows us to experience that.
-Lissa Coffey

Love

"All's love, yet all's law."
-Robert Browning

Love and Law are two sides of the same coin. Everything is love, and at the same time, everything has that organizing power that we can totally count on. There is a reason why we love someone or something. There is a creative purpose to our love. We are not under some spell like the characters in "A Midsummer Night's Dream." We love who we love because God, the Universe, brought us together to learn and grow and experience more of our Selves. Love is divine, and yet love is totally practical.
-Lissa Coffey

Love

"Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness... the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire."
-Pierre Tielhard de Chardin

Is there anything more powerful than love? Love is creative; with love we can accomplish anything. With love we have accomplished everything! Love is the great up-lifter, the strongest force there is. Love heals. Love grows. Love is the basis for life itself. Love is invisible, and yet ever-present. Love is the most valuable gift we will ever give or receive, and yet love is perfectly free.
-Lissa Coffey

Luck

"Luck is not chance-
It's Toil-
Fortune's expensive smile
Is earned - "
-Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

We hear time and time again that good luck is all about hard work. But isn't life like that, too? We get out of it what we put into it.
-Lissa Coffey

Luck

" Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Is there such a thing as luck? It's hard to argue against it. So much of what we go through can be explained away by luck, either good or bad. One famous saying is that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I think most of the time we find, or even create, our own luck, just by being ready for it. What if you knew that today was your lucky day? Where would you go, or what would you do, to find your luck?
-Lissa Coffey

Luck

"It is a great piece of skill to know how to guide your luck even while waiting for it."
-Baltasar Gracian (1601-1658)

Go ahead and carry that four-leaf clover, or pick up that lucky penny- it couldn't hurt! But meanwhile, we need to take the necessary steps to create our own opportunities. By being opening to what presents itself, we become lucky - we recognize when the universe is working to help us realize our goals, and we go along with that plan.
-Lissa Coffey

Luck

" How can you say luck and chance are the same thing? Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterwards."
-Amy Tan, The Kitchen God's Wife, 1991

We need to be ready and willing to take that chance when it comes along - seize the day - take hold of the opportunity! And then, see what happens! Whether or not it turns out the way we had hoped, maybe that has something to do with luck. But we'll never know unless we try. And we'll learn and grow and stretch ourselves by taking those chances - and isn't that lucky anyway?
-Lissa Coffey