confused about friendship?

Question:
I'm so confused about the friend zone..having been in it before,i know how heartbreaking it is. But recently i tried to just be flirty with a girl and we kissed but after a while she just didnt like it anymore,the flirting and stuff. So what i am wondering is, all the 'dating experts' say avoid the friend zone at all costs, and i know that because once your friends with a girl they dont like you, but all the girls i talk to (my friends) say you should be friends first before being in a reltionship, but how do i do that without falling into the friendzone?can it be done?im feeling quite down at the moment because i recently found a girl that could potentially get me over my first love but since we kissed she just doesnt want to talk anymore,i get the feeling though she jst likes attention from boys she'svey flirty

Answer:

The friends you are talking to are right... it is best to establish a friendship before you jump into a relationship.  If you just want to be flirty and date, then go ahead and do that.  But if what you're really looking for is a real girlfriend, then you have to put the emphasis on "friend" first. This is the time period where you get to know each other, where you learn to trust and respect one another.  There's no exact time frame about how long this will take.

Once you have gotten comfortable with each other, you can see if there is chemistry there, and if you might want to try dating and see how you each feel about it.  You can actually have a conversation about it!    Usually the "friend zone" comes into play when there's no chemistry or interest and one or the other doesn't want to hurt the others' feelings. And you know what?  There's nothing wrong with being friends!  If she respects you as a friend, she might have someone to fix you up with who would be a better match for you!

Remember, no one is going to get you over any relationship except yourself.  Value yourself, know all that you have to offer.  Instead of looking for the right girl, work on being the right guy, the best you that you can be!

Hugs,

Lissa